After having a talk with a friend recently, I finally realized the power of being alone. The conversation was heated at times. It was geared towards trying to enlighten the opposite person on what is the right spiritual choice. As we went back and forth it became apparent to me that we weren’t getting anywhere. Then a question flashed through my mind that brought things back into perspective. It was, “All semantics aside, why is it important to you, that this guy believes what you believe?” After thinking through my life’s struggles in my own journey, I realized why believing in God was so important to me.

I couldn’t offer any heart felt story of how God turned me away from drugs or how my life was spared on the brink of death. There were no visions of Jesus or prophecies that that were told to me and then came true. In this thinking I almost lost my own grasp on why I believe there is a God, but before it was too late, it dawned on me. I have never felt truly alone.

Sure there were times when I felt alone. For years I longed for a relationship with a woman, someone I could love and call my own. Night after night I walked into my room alone, but laying in bed, in the dark, talking to God, I always knew it wasn't just me here. It took a long time to get that person, but I knew God was looking out for me. Now I have the most amazing woman in my life, who I couldn't be more satisfied with. Currently my car is falling apart around me as I drive it to work and the bills are starting to pile up. $200 for tires, $120 for a new battery I didn't actually need, and now my starter needs replacement. So now, I have to plot and equate just how much money I have and how to get all this payed off. For a little while in this tornado, I feel alone, but when I tell him what my problems are, I know I'm not alone and they don't feel like problems anymore. I'm going to get through this like I have so many times before.

There in lies the answer. When I relinquish my need to take ownership of my shortcomings, it allows room for God to work. That is when I feel alone the least. I never want to be alone and because of that desire, I know I can't live without God in my life. I know that the void that has been filled by him can only be filled by him and I won't let anyone rob me of that relationship.

There are too many people who have to feel like it's there problem to fix. I've seen so many of my friends depressed over the fact that they know they are the only ones that can solve their problems. We as humans love to take on the burdens of situations with the idea that we can do it and nothing can stop us. It only then takes failure to bruise our pride and show us how alone we really are. No amount of planning will ever prepare you for whats going to happen next in life and we need to get over that obsession of being in control.

This is a clip from my favorite movie of all time: Signs.

So What kind of person are you?? Do you feel alone when life throws you a curve ball or do you live with a hope?? A hope that someone is watching over you and not leaving your life to chance, will help you abandon the loneliness you are feeling, through life's struggles. I know I'm a miracle man.

I was recently thinking back and I stumbled upon a story that made me laugh again. So I just have to share this story to anyone that cares, because I find it hilarious. A while back, I was at a cookout with friends and family when this little girl comes up to me. She says that her friend wasn't invited, but was wondering if she could have some lemonade. So I said sure and went to get her a glass.

I walked it over to the girl and said "Here you go!". She was so excited to get the drink that she started talking to me like I was her best friend. She said "Oh hey thanks, Gee I'm thirsty, ha ha! I've just been masturbating around the park!"

O_o

Excuse me what?

I don't know what word she was trying to say, but it was certainly not what she meant.

So I walked over to my dad and told him about it. He kinda smiled and then said, "Well you probably just heard her wrong." Just like that a buddy walked up behind us and said "Hey guys, you'll never guess what this little girl just said to me."

We both laughed until we cried! The timing was worthy of a sitcom! Anyway... Be careful the next time you go to the park, who knows what goes on in those places.

Sometimes when I pray, I look into my eyes at the nothing that is there and think to myself, “Feels like I haven't done this in awhile.”. I know I believe and I know that I know, but that doesn't feel good enough. Have I got so caught in the idea of who God is and knowing that I know, that my relationship takes a passenger seat to everything else. I knew I wasn't good at being like him, but am I becoming terrible? Since when did I have it figured out well enough, to not have to work on it anymore? Maybe there is a point in every God filled relationship where you walk away and live on your own just so you can experience what it's like to be on your own. Kind of like children at a park testing their parents on how far away they can get completely by themselves. Everything in this world is geared towards getting the information on how to do something so you can get out there and do it yourself. I'm saddened by the fact that I have taken my relationship with Jesus in the same manner.

Just yesterday, I finished leading worship and took my seat in the back, when my mother started singing Silent Night. That song has always been my favorite Christmas song, but something new came out of it this time. I sat in the back and cried quietly to myself, as each line hit with a conviction that only God could. For once in my life, I sat with no thoughts in my head, as I simply let the song come in and remind me of how it all started and how I got to where I am now. With the most sincerity I have ever had, I simply said “I love you.”. This felt as foreign as my prayers have lately, but only for a second. Before the thought had completely passed, I felt that same sincerity return to me and I no longer felt like a stranger. Just as the song says, Christ the Saviour is born, and he was born in me again that moment. I was the most complete I could be. All it took was something as simple as I love you? There had to be more to it than that! That was where I have always fallen short. It is that simple and I had only distanced myself farther away by not letting that go. It is that simple.

Here it is: you can start over, he is always waiting, we make the choice and the cavern separating us from him, is all our own doing. Nothing and no one, means more to me then him.

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth "

So, I was eating at a restaurant a couple of days ago and my brother wanted to order a double mushroom & swiss burger. However, after telling the waitress what he wanted she promptly replied by saying “ Sorry, we don't serve double mushroom & swiss burgers, we only have mushroom & swiss burgers”. On a completely separate occasion, my father tried to order a double cheeseburger, but to his disappointment, there was no such thing. COME ON!!! How can a restaurant serve regular cheeseburgers and not sell a double. You'd think hamburger buns had a height restriction preventing them from stacking too high. You honestly mean to tell me, that a restaurant that sells hamburgers, can't throw an extra patty on there? Tell you what restaurant, why don't you sell me a bun, cheese, and two patties and I'll assemble the freakin' thing myself. It's also amazing, that a restaurant that sells both a double cheeseburger and a mushroom & swiss burger can't make a double mushroom & swiss burger. I mean seriously, who's cooking back there, Helen Keller?


On the other hand, why can't I ever get a decent waiter or waitress? I can understand that things can get busy or the restaurant is understaffed, but most times I have an issue, its when there is very few people dinning. It's always one of two extremes, you either get the caffeinated cockatoo that feels it necessary to talk to you every three minutes, especially when your mouth is full, or you get the phantom waitress that was there at the start, but has mysteriously fell of the face of the earth right when you need a refill or your check. Oh well, someday, when I rule the world...

I was recently pulling my laundry out of the dryer when I realized I was dropping clothes on the floor. It wasn't because I have horrible motor skills, which compared to most people I probably do, but due to the fact the basket was a freakin' circle!! Whose bright idea was it to think a circular basket would be best when pulling clothes out of a square machine?? So because the basket is a circle, only a small percentage of the basket is up against the machine with all the more possibility the clothes go everywhere. Thankfully, someone was on the same thought path as me and made a square basket.

Speaking of laundry, why is it when we are required to buy two separate machines, one to wash and one to dry, that you load dirty laundry in the top and load wet laundry in the side? I'm assuming I'm not the only one that has dropped clean, wet laundry on the floor trying to do a quick hook shot into the dryer. Where are all the top loading dryers??? As if that wasn't bad enough, the designer decided to put the lint trap right there in the dryer door, just big enough to throw a wet sock into. I don't know how many times I've pulled a sock out of a lint trap that looked like Elmo from Sesame Street. Oh well, someday when I rule the world...