Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

...doesn't exist some days. I have days where I have to struggle, to want to love God. I know who he is and the importance he holds in my life, but there are days I don't want to pray. I am at ease with my lack of desire for Jesus, because I am happy with where I am at in life. I love the church and want to see it exemplify what Christ stands for, but that is so separate from where I stand some days, that I feel like this is simply my job to want the church to grow and that holds no passion. There is no spirituality to my strategic planning and knowledge I have gained and that seems OK sometimes. I find myself not talking to God as someone I love, but asking him to teach me how to love him, because I simply lack that.

Making God a conscious thought all the time is hard and takes a commitment that I have come to except as too difficult to take seriously. However, complacency is not where I can reside and a low point is not where to quit. I have these days as I am sure everyone does, but the difference between someone who found God and someone who chased a high becomes apparent in their ability to find God again.

Everyday that I acknowledge I have lost my passion is an opportunity to find and increase it that much more. Too many abandon ship far too early, missing the opportunity that God is hoping you will use to truly find your passion for him again. People avoid acknowledging they don't love God for fear they will be loosing their religion. The truth is, those are the moments he wants to teach you how to love him. More than you ever thought you have.

We are imperfect people and loving God is certainly affected by that imperfection, so admit it! Stop faking! If you are unable to love God, but act like you do, you can't address the problem. If you don't address you have a problem, God can't help you through it. Thus you spin in this circle getting farther and farther away from God, until your faith becomes a shell with no real meaning. All of this simply caused by humans inability to relinquish their pride and admit they are imperfect.

Break yourself in front of Christ and admit your failings. God will not leave you in this quandary if you ask for help. When you feel like there is no chance of rescue, hang on; you are almost there.

And in this we can trust that he is there when we don't know how to love him, don't think we can do it, don't have the strength, courage, passion or abilities, when we cry out and when we praise him. Never give up on him. Never give up.

In Case you need to hear the orginal, click here

I came across this journal entry today and found that there was a lot to be learned from this experience of mine, so I decided I wanted to share it with you.

9/18/2006

I had the unnerving pleasure of developing some film today for a woman who had recently lost her newborn baby. Being the only one working and utterly swamped, I approached the counter to help two women when I was handed a letter. The woman said the letter was to go with the roll of film and I was supposed to read it. After taking the roll of film to the back I continued working frantically to keep up. With orders slowly slipping past the one hour mark, I was forced to tell people it would take more than an hour. I finally got to the woman’s film and read the letter. I was told to be very careful with the film for these would be the only memories this woman would have of her lost child. I put the film through the processor and continued working.

The mother of this child must have overheard me telling customers that it would take longer than an hour and approached me at the counter. She was wondering if her order was going to be late and she said she needed them as soon as possible. She had to go out of town to the funeral and she had little time. As she was listing off why her time was short, she started to tear up. She was talking to me as if I was part of her current circumstances. We were looking at each other and for a moment I felt as if I was an element of it; a character in this part of her story. I said I would do everything I could to get hers done on time.

It was hard to scan those photos. It was hard to look at the loss, what most have been the greatest of failures in this woman’s eyes; maybe not her failure, but the malfunction of life. I don’t know what it’s like to loose something so cherished, but there in front of me was someone’s contribution to this world and their own life, captured only in a photograph. I didn’t know how to feel about this. Maybe I should have felt sorry for her and the cards that were dealt. Maybe I should have felt foolish for being so emotionless when I asked if she wanted doubles or a CD with these pictures, not knowing what they were of. Perhaps I should feel like a hero for completing her order on time and trying to give her a look and a smile that conveyed sentiment as I handed her the pictures. All of these are not what this is about.

We all try so hard to distance ourselves from loss and failure, so as to make ourselves feel like it can’t happen to us. Our desire to make it through another day unscathed by problems is enough to put other people’s dilemmas on a shelf. For a moment, after sending this mother on her way, I didn’t feel anything. After thinking about it for a little bit, I didn’t believe it right to feel bad for her or to feel pity, because how can you share those feelings with someone without making them more aware of the hurt? Did God cry when this happened? Did he hug his own son and resent the world he created for an moment? Did He even ask, “Why?”

God hates sin, he loathes it. Whose sin was it that caused this child to die? It doesn’t matter. God does not delight in sin and thus he does not make sin befall anyone. So we have to ask ourselves, are we with God against sin or are we against God because of what he has “done” to us?

I have a great respect for this mother, which in my heart she will always be, because her life will be filled with many complicated questions to triumph over. I can only hope and pray, that as each day passes in her life, she will find the strength to press on, knowing that one day she will see her child again and she will call her, mother.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

My Brothers Friends...

Lately I have been studying a lot about what church should look and feel like. I've been reading a lot of books and blog entries from people who have a certain view and I find one reoccurring trait that is having a hard time taking hold. Summed up in a word, it's selflessness. Being part of a nation that makes you believe you can be who and what you want to be, only encourages us to take that same mindset into church. There are three words that don't belong in church if used in a selfish manner.


1. Disdain:

To think of anyone or any particular issue with disdain is to put yourself in a place of control above it and its relevance. Followers of Christ are to lead by example and doing so makes you no better than anyone else. When has contempt, despise or scorn ever fit into what Christ calls you to be or how he wants you to treat others? This sort of feeling arises from the individual arrogance that “I am who the church is serving and they had better realize that, for my sake.”


2. Offended:



3. Apathy:

Church needs to be a place of excitement and movement! If you lack that or despise that, it's is time to check out of church and into a hospice. It says in 1 Corinthians 3:16 - “Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?” Back in the times of the Old Testament, the temple was where people went to see God, it was a physical manifestation of God on this earth. In this passage, Paul is saying we are to be that temple. Is your church/temple full of apathetic people? If so, is that what you want people to see God as when they come to your church?


It's time to stop being selfish and thinking about ourselves, but to realize true joy comes from serving together, as a community, built to show God's love. It's not about us and I hope you can stand with me in saying, I'm willing to sacrifice my own desires and ideals to see Gods kingdom glorified and the world we live in impacted daily.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

How deep is your life in Christ? Is it lacking depth or feel superficial sometimes? Having the unique opportunity to be involved in ministry everyday, I get the chance to peer into peoples spiritual lives. It's hard to believe, but there are so many that have such a shallow acquaintance with God and yet have the arrogance to think that they are a blessing to Gods' ministry. I'm amazed at peoples ability to take ownership over the most stupid things and fight for it as if Jesus had died for it and not us. Kansas said it best:

“And if I claim to be a wise man, well, It surely means that I don't know.”

Is it so easy to attack others beliefs so as to avoid examining our own? I mean, we are right and they are wrong so they must be told, right? I just have to say that sometimes I'm so disgusted by the way Christians act, so arrogant and self righteous , that I feel like I should apologize to someone for the way they act. How did we get so shallow? Is your faith in Christ simply skin deep?

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Galatians 5:13-14

Really? Serve one another? Love your neighbor as you would want to be loved? That means it doesn't matter whether a guy is an atheist, gay or been divorced even though you know it's wrong. That means it doesn't matter how a church service should or shouldn't look like. That means, the way you think it should be done, or how important you think it is to have a certain spiritual gift and whether or not you use it enough, doesn't matter. That means through all the religious nonsense and bits and pieces we want to call our own and die for, don't stand for squat in comparison to serving eachother in love. Just because it's not right doesn't mean it's time to form a mob! Let it go people! Stop running around trying to make sure you understand it all or putting out pointless fires. It's time to go back to basics.

1. It's time to start loving people unconditionally again. That means loving people and not expecting anything in return as well as loving them no matter how wrong they are. We have to release the joy we have for the father we follow and stop worrying about whether or not Christianity is serving us like it should.

2. It's time to make sure other people know who God is and the benefits of a journey with him. Have we got so comfortable in the fact that we found God that we have forgotten that someone told us in the first place? We have to stop worrying about raising people from the dead, speaking in tongues, getting the books of the bible memorized or shopping only at the “good Christian store”. It's time to realize someone showed you Christ and now it's your time to return the favor, not just once, but every opportunity you get for the rest of your days on earth.

3. It's time to realize you are not Gods gift to Christianity. The church is not your personal soapbox. We need to stop treating it like a club for those who believe what we believe. I want to go to church for community, encouragement and a family of believers that is ever growing! I don't want to sit in the same stagnant group of people that is not going anywhere or impacting anyone.

4. It's time to change. This one is personal only. We can not change anyone, we can only offer support and wisdom along the way. Ultimately people will make the final decision and this is why we need to stop making it our burden to change those around us. Back to basics means, we realize we will forever be a work in progress, so stop being so judgmental.

Step away from the shallow Christianity I see so many infected with. Search for a depth in Christ that only he can give. Remember, it's not about us. So take this quote and put it to heart. The next time you feel offended or as if you know whats right, make sure you have this down first and it may save you a lot of heartache.

Oh God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirst for more.
I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace.
I am ashamed of my lack of desire.
O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee;
I long to be filled with longing;
I thirst to be made more thirsty still.
Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed.
Begin in mercy a new work of love within me.
Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away."
Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland
where I have wandered so long. - A.W. Tozer.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

If your church closed its doors today, would your community know it? Honestly, think about it. Where is our impact or our presence, more importantly? Do we offer enough value to the town we live in to make it a important part of our community? If our town isn't effected by the loss of our ministry, we aren't doing it well enough. We have to start giving to the people that need Gods love, until it hurts. Simply saying we need to give sounds so vague, but it is in everything, that we should give of ourselves.

We need to give of our talents and skills to the community to serve them. This means if you are good at fixing cars, you find someone that can't afford to have their car fixed and fix it for them! The cool part about this is, it doesn't have to be a friend of yours or someone from the church. You will be growing Gods kingdom through your abilities to serve others outside of the church. Maybe you're skilled in carpentry or managing finances. Maybe you are a good listener and simply give your ear to those who need it. What unique ability do you have that can impact your community and grow your church?

We need to give of our money and possessions to the community to serve them. Keep in mind, I don't simply mean start writing checks to people or giving your car away, but rather to be aware of the needs that people have. What better way to show Gods love to someone than giving of yourself in their time of need. Maybe you have a refrigerator or major kitchen appliance you no longer need and can give to a family who doesn't have one. Maybe someone is having a hard month financially and you offer to pay for some gas or buy basic household necessities like laundry detergent or toilet paper. Maybe a single mom needs diapers and you decide to supply them for a couple months. What does this sort of selfless serving show people? What does this tell them about the Jesus you have in your life? What finances or things do you have that can impact your community and grow your church?

Don't forget the church. We need to give of ourselves and our money to the church so it can grow and impact the community through our ability to serve them. The church will grow and impact many, as you give of your time and money to build it. I just recently started tithing and giving 10% of my wages every week and let me be the first to tell you, it isn't easy. In probably one of the lowest points of my life financially, I lost my job and am collecting unemployment, I decided that it was too big of a risk not to give back to God. It's not my money in the first place, I only have because he gives it to me and to accept this makes it all the easier to give it away to others. Since giving my money back to God, I have have been blessed both emotionally and financially. I feel good about myself knowing that I don't have to be chained to my income and since then, I've got more work to make more money and I have even bought a house, only by Gods doing. What can you do in your church both financially and personally to build it and become valuable to your community?

We need to give of our hearts to the community to serve them. We need to realize that this movie we call our lives, does not star us. The greatest things you can do in your life, are that of which we do for others. We have to stop being selfish and thinking it's all about us, our church, our building, our money and get back to the basics of serving those who need it. When is the last time you heard someone in need and walked away. I'm sure it's more often than you care to think about, I know it is for me. We need to stop trying to get comfortable and suffering more for the betterment of the people that God is trying to reach. It is not us that needs people to be saved! There isn't a tally sheet somewhere that is keeping track of the people we have led to the Lord, because it isn't us doing it! God needs to reach people and we need to open ourselves up to the people Christ wants us to be, so he can do just that; reach people! It's time to start being the follower Jesus intended us to be and give back to our community and the people in it. If your church closed its doors today, would your community know it?

Lets make sure they do.

My mind tends to go to amazing places at night. When I lay in bed and stare into my room that used to look different lit, everything settles and my thoughts become louder than they have been all day. I began to think about where I am at and how different it would be if I had never taken that chance or that risk. How incredible, that my choices have brought me to this moment right now. I feel lonely here, but not alone. Once my thoughts have gotten past talking to myself, they move to those I love and how I miss them. Some of them are many hours away and others are simply downstairs, however none are close enough to remove the loneliness. There is only one person left to go to and far too often the last one I check on. Realizing that he's the only one that truly makes me feel valuable I began to wish I was done here.

I know my role in this world is far from finished and the plans for me he repeats over and over making the possibilities seem endless. As much as I yearn to be “home”, I realize there are people that feel the same way I do. They feel that same loneliness and yearning, but have no idea where to fill that void. In that I understand why I feel selfish in wanting to be done here. I know that there are people out there that take these same feelings and without knowing there is a father that cares for them, act violently and may even decide to end it all themselves.

I have something so great that I can't pack my bags and prepare for home without making sure that everyone knows what I know. How selfish are we that we go to church with the intention of using what we learn only to benefit ourselves? In fact, how selfish are we, to just go to church? I understand now, that God removes that loneliness from me so I have the confidence to reach into someones life and show them how God can remove it from theirs. How egotistical to think God is here to serve me and make me feel good! How did we turn into feel good fanatics? Is that why you became a Christian; to feel good? After what I have done in my life I deserve nothing! The self-centered mindset has run rampant through the Christian world and it has to stop.

Think about it, who does Christian music serve? Who are we serving when we wear our Christian T-Shirts or go to our Christian bookstore? Don't get me wrong, those things are all great and useful, but when they become the epicenter of what our relationship with God is, we've moved past the simple joy of having those things in our life and instead built our lives around them. My point is, a good Christian song or a T-shirt never saved anyone. We need to move past thinking, that as long as people know what I believe we've done our part. No one cares what you believe, but they do care about how you show Christs love through your serving. We need to get out there and sacrifice of ourselves more than just what we wear or what we listen to. We need to truly care for those who need us, because the only way God reaches into people's lives, is if we do.

I don't usually post this many video's in a row like this, but this has just got to be seen!

Playing For Change | Song Around The World "Stand By Me" from Concord Music Group on Vimeo.

Taken from the Website www.Gizmodo.com

This cover of Stand By Me was recorded by completely unknown artists in a street virtual studio all around the world. It all started with a base track—vocals and guitar—recorded on the streets of Santa Monica, California, by a street musician called Roger Ridley. The base track was then taken to New Orleans, Louisiana, where Grandpa Elliott—a blind singer from the French Quarter—added vocals and harmonica while listening to Ridley's base track on headphones. In the same city, Washboard Chaz's added some metal percussion to it.

And from there, it just gets rock 'n' rolling bananas: The producers took the resulting mix all through Europe, Africa, and South America, adding new tracks with multiple instruments and vocals that were assembled in the final version you are seeing in this video. All done with a simple laptop and some microphones.

This guy is Like the perfect cross between Gallagher and Shortround from Indian Jones, on a Jean-Claude Van Dam version of River Dance. Kicking the tar out of people while chewing on piece of gum like it's going out of style. Man, I think I just gave myself the chills.

Man oh Man...

Sneezing In Ultra Slow Motion - Watch more Funny Videos

This last weekend I was listening to my friends talk about motorcycles. I’ve never been one to get involved in those types of conversations, but I started to really listen to how they were talking about their favorite hobby. This is where it came to my attention that when you are involved in a particular hobby or activity that other people call their own as well, you always get two types. The speaker will always refer to two sides in their current hobby. The first being the older people involved. They are either looked up to as teachers who you are always learning from, due to their experience, or scoffed at because they are old and been “doing it” too long to have any good sense in current trends a.k.a. “stuck in their ways”.


The second group of people, and my personal favorite, “the new guys”. They are also referred to as noobs/n00bs, newbies, new meat, youngin’s, and generally inexperienced. No matter what these people do, if they come into the hobby after you have already been involved for sometime, they will most assuredly be treated like they know nothing. As innocent as their ideas may be, they will always be baulked at by people who have “been in the business” longer then them. These types of people can only get out of the “noob league” if they submit themselves to the older generation as the teacher type mentioned before. Even then, they will always been seen as less knowledgeable. In case you need it, here is the urban dictionary’s definition of a noob and a newb:

Contrary to the belief of many, a noob/n00b and a newbie/newb are not the same thing. Newbs are those who are new to some task* and are very beginner at it, possibly a little overconfident about it, but they are willing to learn and fix their errors to move out of that stage. n00bs, on the other hand, know little and have no will to learn any more. They expect people to do the work for them and then expect to get praised about it, and make up a unique species of their own.

The amazing part in all this is while listening to others talk about their hobbies, they are never a part of either group. They will always make fun of the noobs/newbs, praise the teachers and condemn the stubborn. They will never put themselves into either of the main categories and will never admit their own shortcomings in front of others they feel are in the same league as them. I know I probably do the same thing when it comes to my own hobbies, but I at least have this piece of knowledge to try and curve these things. People are so oblivious sometimes. Oh well, someday when I rule the world...

I heard someone say that church is the fuel that gets him through the week. That seems so wrong. Is that what church is? Is it a simple drive-in and fuel-up, so you can get from point to point until you run out again? I commute to Decorah from Waukon, and as every day goes by, I watch my fuel gauge drop until I need to go fill it. I hope my life with Christ is nothing like this. Think of it this way; What good does gas do for your car, if you don't use the gas to go places that are important? What happens if you fill your tank at the end of every week, but you never use that gas to take your car to the mechanic or the car wash? It does nothing for your car.

This is why church shouldn't be a fuel pump. People go get energized and happy, in hopes that it will fill them with enough strength to make it to the next Sunday, without dying along side the road somewhere. On top of that, why should you have to have church to get through your week? Is church nothing more than your source of courage or perseverance to keep going? If so, you are missing the point of church. God wants to use your church experience to get you motivated to affect the world you live in, not just navigate it safely and efficiently. Church was never intended to be anyone's gas station, God wants more out of us than to “make it through” our weeks.

So here it is: Church is not the fuel to get you from place to place, but the vehicle in which you are traveling in. You need to take church with you everywhere you go. The church God wants to create, is the one that goes where God has plans to affect peoples lives. Just like going to the mechanic or car wash, you need to get tuned up and washed clean so you can start over and be in the world with a passion for the masses. Sunday morning church is a tool to use in your drive with God, but not the only source of your faith. We need to stop longing for Sunday to come so we can feel better about our struggles and start knowing God is always there, all week long. We have to stop living up to the stereotype that Christianity is a crutch, by showing we can live in confidence day to day and not just on Sunday morning.

Sometimes, you just gotta dance...

After a dentist trip and a little too much happy gas...

After having a talk with a friend recently, I finally realized the power of being alone. The conversation was heated at times. It was geared towards trying to enlighten the opposite person on what is the right spiritual choice. As we went back and forth it became apparent to me that we weren’t getting anywhere. Then a question flashed through my mind that brought things back into perspective. It was, “All semantics aside, why is it important to you, that this guy believes what you believe?” After thinking through my life’s struggles in my own journey, I realized why believing in God was so important to me.

I couldn’t offer any heart felt story of how God turned me away from drugs or how my life was spared on the brink of death. There were no visions of Jesus or prophecies that that were told to me and then came true. In this thinking I almost lost my own grasp on why I believe there is a God, but before it was too late, it dawned on me. I have never felt truly alone.

Sure there were times when I felt alone. For years I longed for a relationship with a woman, someone I could love and call my own. Night after night I walked into my room alone, but laying in bed, in the dark, talking to God, I always knew it wasn't just me here. It took a long time to get that person, but I knew God was looking out for me. Now I have the most amazing woman in my life, who I couldn't be more satisfied with. Currently my car is falling apart around me as I drive it to work and the bills are starting to pile up. $200 for tires, $120 for a new battery I didn't actually need, and now my starter needs replacement. So now, I have to plot and equate just how much money I have and how to get all this payed off. For a little while in this tornado, I feel alone, but when I tell him what my problems are, I know I'm not alone and they don't feel like problems anymore. I'm going to get through this like I have so many times before.

There in lies the answer. When I relinquish my need to take ownership of my shortcomings, it allows room for God to work. That is when I feel alone the least. I never want to be alone and because of that desire, I know I can't live without God in my life. I know that the void that has been filled by him can only be filled by him and I won't let anyone rob me of that relationship.

There are too many people who have to feel like it's there problem to fix. I've seen so many of my friends depressed over the fact that they know they are the only ones that can solve their problems. We as humans love to take on the burdens of situations with the idea that we can do it and nothing can stop us. It only then takes failure to bruise our pride and show us how alone we really are. No amount of planning will ever prepare you for whats going to happen next in life and we need to get over that obsession of being in control.

This is a clip from my favorite movie of all time: Signs.

So What kind of person are you?? Do you feel alone when life throws you a curve ball or do you live with a hope?? A hope that someone is watching over you and not leaving your life to chance, will help you abandon the loneliness you are feeling, through life's struggles. I know I'm a miracle man.

I was recently thinking back and I stumbled upon a story that made me laugh again. So I just have to share this story to anyone that cares, because I find it hilarious. A while back, I was at a cookout with friends and family when this little girl comes up to me. She says that her friend wasn't invited, but was wondering if she could have some lemonade. So I said sure and went to get her a glass.

I walked it over to the girl and said "Here you go!". She was so excited to get the drink that she started talking to me like I was her best friend. She said "Oh hey thanks, Gee I'm thirsty, ha ha! I've just been masturbating around the park!"

O_o

Excuse me what?

I don't know what word she was trying to say, but it was certainly not what she meant.

So I walked over to my dad and told him about it. He kinda smiled and then said, "Well you probably just heard her wrong." Just like that a buddy walked up behind us and said "Hey guys, you'll never guess what this little girl just said to me."

We both laughed until we cried! The timing was worthy of a sitcom! Anyway... Be careful the next time you go to the park, who knows what goes on in those places.