Feel Good Fanatics

My mind tends to go to amazing places at night. When I lay in bed and stare into my room that used to look different lit, everything settles and my thoughts become louder than they have been all day. I began to think about where I am at and how different it would be if I had never taken that chance or that risk. How incredible, that my choices have brought me to this moment right now. I feel lonely here, but not alone. Once my thoughts have gotten past talking to myself, they move to those I love and how I miss them. Some of them are many hours away and others are simply downstairs, however none are close enough to remove the loneliness. There is only one person left to go to and far too often the last one I check on. Realizing that he's the only one that truly makes me feel valuable I began to wish I was done here.

I know my role in this world is far from finished and the plans for me he repeats over and over making the possibilities seem endless. As much as I yearn to be “home”, I realize there are people that feel the same way I do. They feel that same loneliness and yearning, but have no idea where to fill that void. In that I understand why I feel selfish in wanting to be done here. I know that there are people out there that take these same feelings and without knowing there is a father that cares for them, act violently and may even decide to end it all themselves.

I have something so great that I can't pack my bags and prepare for home without making sure that everyone knows what I know. How selfish are we that we go to church with the intention of using what we learn only to benefit ourselves? In fact, how selfish are we, to just go to church? I understand now, that God removes that loneliness from me so I have the confidence to reach into someones life and show them how God can remove it from theirs. How egotistical to think God is here to serve me and make me feel good! How did we turn into feel good fanatics? Is that why you became a Christian; to feel good? After what I have done in my life I deserve nothing! The self-centered mindset has run rampant through the Christian world and it has to stop.

Think about it, who does Christian music serve? Who are we serving when we wear our Christian T-Shirts or go to our Christian bookstore? Don't get me wrong, those things are all great and useful, but when they become the epicenter of what our relationship with God is, we've moved past the simple joy of having those things in our life and instead built our lives around them. My point is, a good Christian song or a T-shirt never saved anyone. We need to move past thinking, that as long as people know what I believe we've done our part. No one cares what you believe, but they do care about how you show Christs love through your serving. We need to get out there and sacrifice of ourselves more than just what we wear or what we listen to. We need to truly care for those who need us, because the only way God reaches into people's lives, is if we do.