I hate spiders. A lot. Anytime I see one inside the house I stop everything and kill it. However recently I have had a slight change of heart. Not enough to make me start cuddling with them or anything, but enough to treat them with the respect they deserve. Two things caused this paradigm shift. First, I was over at my Fiancés apartment and she was complaining about fruit flies. Wandering around the kitchen while she was cleaning, I noticed on a plant in the window was a fairly large web on it and a spider the size of a watermelon seed. I said “Yuck. You got a spider living in your plant.” That's when she freaked out and told me to kill it (she hates them more than me). However, I noticed the web was covered in little specs; fruit flies. I told her she should leave it cause it was solving her fruit fly problem and she said that was fine being it was far away from her normal activities. I had always known that spiders ate insects, but never really thought of it in this helpful light before. So I left it to do what it was best at.

The second, and I think most important spider moment, also involved Angela. We were standing outside somewhere when I heard her shriek. I turned and looked down to see a spider the size of a half dollar skittering across the ground. Just like that, out of instinct I'm sure, she stepped on it, killing it. I instantly felt bad. For something I hated so much, for the first time, I felt bad for it. It was outside where it was supposed to be and even then, we killed it. It didn't deserve that at all. I have sense then taken a “stop and think” method to spider removal. Even though I still find spiders disgusting, if I can get it outside without killing it, I will.

I think that Christians get in the habit of killing spiders outside. We are so quick to act on our instincts and smash a spider because it's something we don't like, even when it's where we'd expect it to be. We can't do this to people, just like we shouldn't do it to spiders.

Through your lifetime you will see people who don't live like you, act like you or believe like you and our tendency is to stomp it out of our lives and proceed more safely, but those people are right where they need to be, for you to make a difference in their lives. When we focus on the fact that a spider is disgusting or scary we forget the utility and value they have in our world, as with the fruit flies. The same is for those people we don't see eye to eye with. We need to stop acting on our instincts that say “Quick kill it!” and learn to love people through our differences. When we do that our lives aren't controlled by fear or our incompatibility, but how all of us have a purpose and a reason to be here.

As for me and my dislike of spiders, I don't think I'll ever keep one as a pet, but they hold a very different spot in my heart now.

For the first time in who knows how long I had to go to the dentist a couple weeks ago. I avoid that place like the plague and hope and pray that I never have teeth problems. However, that all changed when I awoke one night with horrible tooth pain. It was one of the worst nights of my entire life. The pain was unbearable and I couldn't sleep. First thing in the morning I had to call the dentist. I reluctantly made an appointment and prepared myself for the horrible experience ahead of me.As I was sitting in the chair waiting for the dentist to come in and look at my mouth, I sat and listened to the wretched sound of drills. When you have a toothache the first thing the dentist asks is, “Can you describe where the pain is at?” Having next to no idea of where the pain was at rather than a general location, he began tapping on teeth and asking which one hurt. Eventually we nailed down the fact that it was my wisdom teeth, but I'll save that horrific experience for another blog entry.

Recently a friend of mine was getting sick on a regular basis and wasn't able to eat much. Having no idea what the problem was, she went to the hospital to get it checked out. Exploratory surgery found it to be a tumor in her lower intestine, which was removed and she appears to be on the path to recovery.

Why is it the only time we get help, is when we don't know what is wrong with us? People with real identifiable problems go weeks, months or even years at a time with a known problem they never seek out help for. The hardest part for any kind of addict, is admitting they have a problem and that is from drugs to less obvious things like money or pornography. It seems though, that because the problem is easily identifiable, it's just as easily ignored.

God wants us to come to him with our problems and that can be easy, however the real struggle seems to be getting the help we need. We can tell God our problems and then lean back as we hope he will magically fix them, but too often we miss the real life opportunities he is putting in front of us as we sit waiting for a miracle. The point I am trying to make here is, don't wait. If you have real issues and you know it, then get the help you need. Give them up to God first and then be prepared to have them taken care of in what may be a simple or common way. God does work in mysterious ways, but sometimes he's just asking you to take the first step in the obvious directions.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Took a long time off from the whole blog thing, not that I needed it, but because I've just been neglecting it out of a lack of interest. However now I am back and have decided to make my updates more frequent. So stay tuned I'll have a full blog post in a day or two. Until then enjoy this trailer for, "The Kevin Malone Story"

When I was a little kid, I use to get pains in my leg at night. It didn't happen all the time, but often enough to make it hard to sleep. Everyone has had these pains before, because our bodies were growing. However, that never made it any less confusing. Being young and so new to the world of pain, growth and change, pain without reason was disheartening. I use to toss and turn for hours. Some nights my mother would try to help by massaging my leg and that would help, but only until the next one hit.

On an individual basis we go through the fire daily. When we were young it was easy to get lost in life changing moments. The girl you loved that turned you down, a friend that left you or the grade that wasn't what you expected. Maybe it was a job you loved and lost or a loved one that passed away. It could have been a broken promise, a betrayal, or even an insult. Maybe it was something fantastic, like a first kiss or the smell of the hot pavement after a rain. The grass on your bare feet, neighborhood baseball or your first time off the high dive is still as much a part of you today as it was when it happened.Whatever it was, it hit you and left a mark you now carry forever.

Everyday is a growing pain, good or bad. The days stretch us and make us think we will always ache. It aches, because we will never be the same. God asks us to change everyday, to stand up to the growing pains and move forward with a determination that can't be stopped. I've decided to follow God in everything I do and for that reason there is no amount of ache, caused by me or other people, that will prevent me from doing that.

If there is one thing to take away from all this, this is it: Peace is not the absence of pain, but the presence of power. That power is God.

You will have growing pains. We all do. Will they control you?