I was recently thinking back and I stumbled upon a story that made me laugh again. So I just have to share this story to anyone that cares, because I find it hilarious. A while back, I was at a cookout with friends and family when this little girl comes up to me. She says that her friend wasn't invited, but was wondering if she could have some lemonade. So I said sure and went to get her a glass.

I walked it over to the girl and said "Here you go!". She was so excited to get the drink that she started talking to me like I was her best friend. She said "Oh hey thanks, Gee I'm thirsty, ha ha! I've just been masturbating around the park!"

O_o

Excuse me what?

I don't know what word she was trying to say, but it was certainly not what she meant.

So I walked over to my dad and told him about it. He kinda smiled and then said, "Well you probably just heard her wrong." Just like that a buddy walked up behind us and said "Hey guys, you'll never guess what this little girl just said to me."

We both laughed until we cried! The timing was worthy of a sitcom! Anyway... Be careful the next time you go to the park, who knows what goes on in those places.

Sometimes when I pray, I look into my eyes at the nothing that is there and think to myself, “Feels like I haven't done this in awhile.”. I know I believe and I know that I know, but that doesn't feel good enough. Have I got so caught in the idea of who God is and knowing that I know, that my relationship takes a passenger seat to everything else. I knew I wasn't good at being like him, but am I becoming terrible? Since when did I have it figured out well enough, to not have to work on it anymore? Maybe there is a point in every God filled relationship where you walk away and live on your own just so you can experience what it's like to be on your own. Kind of like children at a park testing their parents on how far away they can get completely by themselves. Everything in this world is geared towards getting the information on how to do something so you can get out there and do it yourself. I'm saddened by the fact that I have taken my relationship with Jesus in the same manner.

Just yesterday, I finished leading worship and took my seat in the back, when my mother started singing Silent Night. That song has always been my favorite Christmas song, but something new came out of it this time. I sat in the back and cried quietly to myself, as each line hit with a conviction that only God could. For once in my life, I sat with no thoughts in my head, as I simply let the song come in and remind me of how it all started and how I got to where I am now. With the most sincerity I have ever had, I simply said “I love you.”. This felt as foreign as my prayers have lately, but only for a second. Before the thought had completely passed, I felt that same sincerity return to me and I no longer felt like a stranger. Just as the song says, Christ the Saviour is born, and he was born in me again that moment. I was the most complete I could be. All it took was something as simple as I love you? There had to be more to it than that! That was where I have always fallen short. It is that simple and I had only distanced myself farther away by not letting that go. It is that simple.

Here it is: you can start over, he is always waiting, we make the choice and the cavern separating us from him, is all our own doing. Nothing and no one, means more to me then him.

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth "

So, I was eating at a restaurant a couple of days ago and my brother wanted to order a double mushroom & swiss burger. However, after telling the waitress what he wanted she promptly replied by saying “ Sorry, we don't serve double mushroom & swiss burgers, we only have mushroom & swiss burgers”. On a completely separate occasion, my father tried to order a double cheeseburger, but to his disappointment, there was no such thing. COME ON!!! How can a restaurant serve regular cheeseburgers and not sell a double. You'd think hamburger buns had a height restriction preventing them from stacking too high. You honestly mean to tell me, that a restaurant that sells hamburgers, can't throw an extra patty on there? Tell you what restaurant, why don't you sell me a bun, cheese, and two patties and I'll assemble the freakin' thing myself. It's also amazing, that a restaurant that sells both a double cheeseburger and a mushroom & swiss burger can't make a double mushroom & swiss burger. I mean seriously, who's cooking back there, Helen Keller?


On the other hand, why can't I ever get a decent waiter or waitress? I can understand that things can get busy or the restaurant is understaffed, but most times I have an issue, its when there is very few people dinning. It's always one of two extremes, you either get the caffeinated cockatoo that feels it necessary to talk to you every three minutes, especially when your mouth is full, or you get the phantom waitress that was there at the start, but has mysteriously fell of the face of the earth right when you need a refill or your check. Oh well, someday, when I rule the world...

I was recently pulling my laundry out of the dryer when I realized I was dropping clothes on the floor. It wasn't because I have horrible motor skills, which compared to most people I probably do, but due to the fact the basket was a freakin' circle!! Whose bright idea was it to think a circular basket would be best when pulling clothes out of a square machine?? So because the basket is a circle, only a small percentage of the basket is up against the machine with all the more possibility the clothes go everywhere. Thankfully, someone was on the same thought path as me and made a square basket.

Speaking of laundry, why is it when we are required to buy two separate machines, one to wash and one to dry, that you load dirty laundry in the top and load wet laundry in the side? I'm assuming I'm not the only one that has dropped clean, wet laundry on the floor trying to do a quick hook shot into the dryer. Where are all the top loading dryers??? As if that wasn't bad enough, the designer decided to put the lint trap right there in the dryer door, just big enough to throw a wet sock into. I don't know how many times I've pulled a sock out of a lint trap that looked like Elmo from Sesame Street. Oh well, someday when I rule the world...

There was this old man using a stepping machines in the physical therapy office I was working in today. When he finished his time on the machine another old man walked over to him and asked how he was enjoying the workout he was required to do. The old man that walked over to him started to tell him how he shouldn't work too hard. He said that he had had a friend that did the same thing, but after he had gotten off the machine, he sat down and died right there. The first old man jokingly said, “That wouldn't be that bad!” and other old man responded by saying “You mean calling it quits?” The first old man had nothing to say as he took a drink and got back on the machine.

Later that day, I went over to an apartment to help a gentleman with a computer problem. This man was quite old, wheelchair bound and a previous customer of mine. While fixing his many PC issues, he launched into a conversation about how the image of a airplane he had on his desktop was just like the one he had flown in WWII; the same story he had told me from the previous service call. Realizing he didn't remember me, I humored him and took part in the conversation like I hadn't heard it before. This time however, he began to tell me how he was slowly going down hill. He couldn't walk because he had a problem with his right knee, which he had had three surgeries to try and fix it, but it still ached a lot. He said he had trouble breathing and he has had to have a urinary catheter put in. I told him that I would be getting old someday too, but I think there was no comfort in that statement.I will get old someday. My body is almost done growing and will soon start the downward spiral toward my last breath. It's easy for me to get caught up in living and forget that I will come to the same spot as these older men. Is there a point were calling it quits seems like a good option? When does the weight of this world or the curse of growing old turn out to be more than we bargained for? You'd think we could do enough good for the world or make a strong enough impact to avoid such a punishment, but that is just not the case. You have to wonder if where we are going after we die is worth the pain and isolation of old age. For me it is, but it doesn't make the idea of getting old any easier to accept.

After listening to these men, I've decided to live where I'm at. I've spent far too long fearing old age and the problems that go with it. I like to think about the older people I've met that have those amazing attitudes that I wish I had. The type of old people that act younger than I do. I want to be that way! Old age be damned, I'm going to live! Far too often I've seen an elderly couple sitting in a restaurant never saying a word to each other, as if they have finally said everything. I will strive to never be that way! I know that there is a plan for my life and it has only just begun to unfold itself and I won't let “calling it quits” become the best option.

Let me end by saying, that my attitude toward growing older has changed, but my respect and understanding for the elderly has not. I understand that it is not always easy and sometimes people have no control over how they age and for that, I sympathize. Just as I will grow old and want to continue my life the way I want to, we need to be compassionate and forgiving to the elderly, so they to can feel life is worth living.

When I was little, I remember getting my Nintendo video game system. I remember it so much, I can recall how the box smelt when we opened it. Thanks to my dads, now regrettable choice to buy me one for Christmas, I've become quite the video game fan boy. Aside from the few games I can remember having a lot of fun playing, I unfortunately remember another part of my video gaming experience a lot more. I remember 1^st player. The amazing power of the first controller. It had to be mine and I would do anything to get it. Why you ask? Well its obvious! First player got to be Mario in Mario Bros. First player got to pick the game settings and enter the game itself, before anyone else could. First player, was in control.

Overall, there really wasn't that much of a difference between first and second player when it came to the gaming experience. Where the difference came from, was the ability to know that I ultimately had the control of how these games would be played. I visited a church meeting/service of a group of people who wanted to start a church. The overall feeling I got while listening to them talk, was as if they were fighting for first player. It sounded as if they knew how church should be done (which is not how all the other churches in the area are doing it of course) and they were going to show the town how to do it the right way. The more I watch people go through the motions of “living life like it was intended to be lived” I find it to be more like “living life for control of how life should be”

It says a lot about a small child that refuses to play a game when he can't be first player and it says a lot about an adult who hates the church because he couldn't have the control he desired. I've heard so many stories about the people who turned away from a good thing, because they couldn't express themselves like they believed they should. It's not the leaving that is so wrong, by all means, if you don't fit in or feel God calling you to your current position, then go find where he is. The problem is in the “up in arms”, “fight for the right” attitude that comes from being told no. Why cant we have grace in the differences we don't understand, rather than having to prove that the way we think it should be done, is the best way? It is simply amazing how many people aren't happy if they can't have first player and the utmost control over certain things.

The problem with leaving something with the “I'll show you” attitude, is that no matter what you do, it will never be built with God in the place he needs to be. That wounded attitude will only attract other people who feel wounded and will ultimately turn your mission into showing the world why you were right. Think about it next time you refuse to play along when you don't get first player. Think about how little your control and influence on situations matter to God and the people your putting them through. More people need to realize God already has first player and most of these selfish thoughts wouldn't happen in the first place.