I had quite the birthday this week. I wasn't really telling people, mainly because I just didn't care to. I mean, after you hit 21 there really isn't much to look forward to except another year. However, my girlfriend pulled out all the stops. I kind of figured she would, but not as much as she did.

She came to see me at work and brought a cake with my picture on it; she looked so happy. After work was over, I headed to youth group and she met me with a dozen blue balloons smiling the whole time. When youth group was over, she met me at my house where she gave me my gifts. She bought me two DVDs and a picture of us, as well as chocolate.

She really made me feel important. Not only now, with all the stuff, but even before. She makes me real some days. Sometimes the look in her eyes is the time of day when I come flying back to reality. I go to work, I go to band practice, I run the youth group, it all meshes together sometimes and she seems to be the one thing that always keeps me grounded. She means more to me than she knows and she is a piece of my golden ticket that I can call my own.

Cant take
The time to be
Who you see
Inside of me.
Love me strong
I can't stay long.
To busy to be
Who you see in me.

Something to hear.
Something to see.
Something is you
Right beside of me.

Time is lost.
When you're around.
Your voice a whisper.
Love that sound
Inside my thoughts.
Begins to pound.
You leap into
You go right through.

Something to do.
Something is said.
Somewhere to run
With only you.

I'll take time
To find you true.
Loving steps
Along with you.
Tears will fall
Drops like flame
Embracing me
I call your name.

Something,
Something,
I know is you.

It turns out, now is the time to let it spill. My Golden ticket, there's a story behind that title that was written on a different blog awhile back (I may re-post it). For now, however, my Golden Ticket is everything I'm shooting to be. The very core of what I want to become in this world, lies in wait, just like the elusive Golden Ticket from the story/movie. Self discovery, self acceptance, learning and cursing, all to appear soon.

I've decided to change and to become me, the one thing I've been hiding so long. I have to change physically and mentally. To change from an overweight depression, to someone lighter in both manners. It's already started though, I took the jump 4 days ago.

I can't wait to see what bad things happen and what good. I can't wait to hurt with change and take joy in my struggles. It's not going to be easy, but I'm looking forward to the chance to succeed or fail and then do it all over again.

Catch ya on the flip side.