Take On Me Literally

Head Over Heels Literally

I've been thinking a lot about where my life is going lately. Where am I going to be in a month from now is kind of frighting. I have so much right here and right now, just the way I like it, even though it's not perfect and has just as many problems as benefits. I have a hard time excepting the possible future as a real possibility.

As I had mentioned in a previous blog, I just got back from a trip to Orange City. I had my map to where I was suppose to go and it was pretty straight forward. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a detour. What luck, I mean, I was on the last straight stretch before I would drive straight into Orange City, only to be taken miles out of my way. After almost having to guess what turns to make in order to get back on the right highway, I made what looked like the final turn onto the highway I needed to be on.

As I drove, my confidence began to wain and I got more and more scared that I had taken the wrong turn somewhere. I began earnestly looking for road signs that would let me know that I was on track. Just like that my Dad called. He got on Google and, with what information I had, found where I was on the map. He assured me that I was going the right way and to just keep going; the town should be coming up. Finally there was a sign.

Gods plan for us is not a road map. Gods plan is merely road signs. He never tells exactly where we are going or exactly how to get there; he only gives us road signs. Get use to it! We will never have it all figured out! We have to wait on his guidance and his directions from point to point and there will be many times where you don't see a sign for what seems like forever. Why do we always jump the gun and yearn for a clear cut route through the chaos? What difference does it make in the long run when your gonna keep going anyway. When I felt I was lost, I didn't pull over and wait for the way to be shown to me. I didn't turn around and try another direction. I kept going. I kept looking for the signs to point the way. The longer a person moves without knowing which way they are going, the harder it is to believe they are following the right path. It happens to all of us.

We lose sight of what was suppose to be great due to lack of signs. Hold on! It's coming! The greatness that we see in Gods plan, he sees through us. Take a look at where you've been and realize there were moments then where all seemed lost, but you're here today. It's not only by the grace of God sometimes, but all the times. When we need it most, God calls us and assures us we are doing it right and if he hasn't done that yet, then call on him yourself.

The gaps that seem the most void of Jesus, are the times when Jesus is there the most. We must only stop searching for the map and start looking for the signs.

This last weekend, I took a drive to Orange City to visit my girlfriend, that I hadn't seen in a little over a month. The drive was long and boring, but a little easier because my brother went along. I told her I was going to call her when I was almost there, but I opted for the surprise entrance. I walked up the stairs to her dorm, with my brother right behind me. As I walked through the door and saw her sitting there, she turned and saw me at the same time. She smiled and ran at me with open arms throwing herself around me like we had been away from each other for years.

As I kissed her and looked into her eyes, it all felt so unreal; like looking through a peep hole in a door. I could feel her and see her, but it all felt like I was still in that moment between waking and sleeping. It took me awhile to realize I was actually there, with her, for real. I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

It was an amazing weekend and I loved every minute of it. It was as if we had started dating for the first time, all over again. However, by the time I got back home into my room and started unpacking all my dirty laundry, I started to wonder if I had ever been there at all. Now as the days slip by and I have almost two months to wait until I see her again, I have to hold on to what I had.

It's hard to believe that this is the rotation our hearts go through with God. When you experience a moment that has come together so perfectly that it's hard to believe it's real or a trouble roadblock that seems impassable is broken down; God is there. These situations happen and are simply amazing, but they slip into the past stepping farther away from being real, day by day. Too many times I look at God and feel like I'm not there; like it's too good to be true, as God and I share success, a time of encouragement, despair or joy. I walk away from those moment only to feel like I was never a part of that. Every day it pushes that experience farther away from my mind until I'm unsure it even happened. Then out of nowhere I experience God again, but unreal due to the time spent apart.

Angela and I have beaten the "out of nowhere experience" because we see and talk to each other everyday over the Internet. Even though we still have unreal feelings that come from being apart for so long, our connectedness and consistent communication, help us push through those empty times when we are so far away. This is why so many people fail to experience God. They simply lack "connectedness and consistent communication". We can't be so quick to give up when distance separates us from people or God. I know I wouldn't give up on Angela, so why should God be any different.

I've been thinking lately of the stagnant place in my life that I'm in right now. Not a bad stagnant as in mentally or physically, but in the bigger picture of human lives and the points in life that seem to matter the most.

What I am trying to get at is, that depending on your age, there is usually a point in time we look forward to; such as becoming a teenager or being able to drive. So here is the list of big moments to shoot for.

Age
1-10--Every birthday is an important one
13----You're finally a teenager
14----You get your drivers permit - Enter high school give or take a year - Get a Job
16----Full fledged license - Get a Passport - Join the Millitary
17----R-Rated Movies - Apply for a Pilots license - Buy Firearms
18----Vote - Buy Tobacco - Buy Fireworks - Apply for a Credit Card - Tattoos - Jury Duty - Marriage without consent - Enter Gentleman Clubs - Leave Home without consent
21----Buy and Drink Alcohol - Adopt a child - Play the Lottery

Some of the things listed are dependent upon the state which you live

So as it appears, 21 is the final checkpoint before not much else happens. There aren't really anythings that separate one age to the next. Things start to meld together and not offer any reason to want to age past 21. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing like finally gaining the ability to do something that you couldn't otherwise do at an earlier age. I still remember hitting 21 and going to the local gas station to buy Smirnoff the very night I hit that 21 year old checkpoint. I proudly pulled the alcohol from the cooler and put it and my I.D. on the counter. I had no deep desire to drink, in fact, it was the middle of the week and I had work the next day, so I wasn't about to get drunk.

The point is, I didn't do it because I needed to or had to, but because I could. The divider that was preventing me from being able to do something, was seen as a moment to conquer. A chance to do something simply because there was no one that could stop me anymore. It felt like right of passage. In the bigger scheme of things, a life with Christ can feel the same way.

When starting off on our spiritual journey, it is nothing but checkpoints. One after another learning about different aspects of the Bible and then applying them to our lives. Growing and gaining understanding of new principles and seeing them work in our lives or with other people. From there we learn that we need to tell others about it and help people start their own journeys. Then, just like hitting 21, there stops being any purpose to doing what we have been doing. The checkpoints disappear under the guise of something we've conquered and now what is there?

When is the last time you really felt special driving your car or buying a beer?? Well why would you?? Where is the joy in the simplistic act of doing, just because you can?? We can't forget that checkpoints are not about the completing, just for the sake of moving on to the next one; Rather a point in history to look back and remember how they made you feel and what they accomplished. Get in your car and grip the wheel as if this is your first drive on your own. Buy a lottery ticket just because you have a couple extra bucks in your pocket and remember the thrill of the chance. Read a verse in your Bible like you never have before and apply to your life with the child like faith you once had. Tell your coworker about Christ in your life and who Christ would be in his or hers just so you could experience the great joy there is in giving someone a life worth living.

Just like you use to, just because you could.

Everyone has one thing in common and that, is purpose. Most of everything that we do in our lives comes from a purpose or a drive deep within us and I guess you could say, finding my life’s purpose turned me around. My story is not a heroic turn from evil, it's not a story of demise turned to glory, but a chapter devoted to what my turning point did to my life and its decisions.

It wasn’t long ago, that the thought of a greater power was in my thoughts at every ‘choice’ intersection. With a common feeling of powerlessness, I looked up for answers and comfort through life’s struggles. I was hoping for a feeling from above that would allow me to take some control over my life; by giving it to someone that could handle it. A God of such reputation and supremacy, that I previously knew from others and from stories out of a leather bound book, was the only response I got, which, to be honest, didn't help me at all. Soon, I was letting go more and more to the pressure from above to turn it over to him. In each instance, I hung on as long as I could. So, with a sort of inward embarrassment, I surrendered total control in hopes he would deal with it better than I did. Although; It wasn't always so clean cut.

Not every situation led to perfect results, in fact, more often than not, they didn’t go the way I wanted them to at all; that’s just the way the world seems to work. As if to make those problems worse, questions arose. If anything can beat down a persons beliefs, it's questions. Faith would come and go with each new situation or question derived from it. Even though questions came up, the conclusion was always knowing that although it wasn’t a perfect solution, it helped me deal with my less than ideal finish. With this knowledge from every experience, I gained a pure awareness of how my world can be better, through “understanding and acceptance”. Acceptance seems like dodging the bullet when it comes to the tough questions, but I'm not saying to avoid questions; Rather, accept the fact that they will arise through struggles and will be answered in time. Far too often, people drop faith the instant a hard question shows up. Why can't we be OK with not knowing everything?? I realize now, that if I so choose to hand things over to the one that knows me better than myself, those questions will be answered. Some will take longer than others, but never the less, they will be answered.

I believe now, through all of my experiences, that there is someone factual and beyond doubt, existing more than most care to acknowledge. I can confidently press forward with the greatest turning point in my existence, to make the rest of my reality, just that; real. No problem, choice, decision, or struggle has to be any worse than I wish to let it. When all else fails, don’t forget to stop and look up, for the world you live in isn’t restricted to what you see in front of you.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net