Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

...doesn't exist some days. I have days where I have to struggle, to want to love God. I know who he is and the importance he holds in my life, but there are days I don't want to pray. I am at ease with my lack of desire for Jesus, because I am happy with where I am at in life. I love the church and want to see it exemplify what Christ stands for, but that is so separate from where I stand some days, that I feel like this is simply my job to want the church to grow and that holds no passion. There is no spirituality to my strategic planning and knowledge I have gained and that seems OK sometimes. I find myself not talking to God as someone I love, but asking him to teach me how to love him, because I simply lack that.

Making God a conscious thought all the time is hard and takes a commitment that I have come to except as too difficult to take seriously. However, complacency is not where I can reside and a low point is not where to quit. I have these days as I am sure everyone does, but the difference between someone who found God and someone who chased a high becomes apparent in their ability to find God again.

Everyday that I acknowledge I have lost my passion is an opportunity to find and increase it that much more. Too many abandon ship far too early, missing the opportunity that God is hoping you will use to truly find your passion for him again. People avoid acknowledging they don't love God for fear they will be loosing their religion. The truth is, those are the moments he wants to teach you how to love him. More than you ever thought you have.

We are imperfect people and loving God is certainly affected by that imperfection, so admit it! Stop faking! If you are unable to love God, but act like you do, you can't address the problem. If you don't address you have a problem, God can't help you through it. Thus you spin in this circle getting farther and farther away from God, until your faith becomes a shell with no real meaning. All of this simply caused by humans inability to relinquish their pride and admit they are imperfect.

Break yourself in front of Christ and admit your failings. God will not leave you in this quandary if you ask for help. When you feel like there is no chance of rescue, hang on; you are almost there.

And in this we can trust that he is there when we don't know how to love him, don't think we can do it, don't have the strength, courage, passion or abilities, when we cry out and when we praise him. Never give up on him. Never give up.

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