So, I was eating at a restaurant a couple of days ago and my brother wanted to order a double mushroom & swiss burger. However, after telling the waitress what he wanted she promptly replied by saying “ Sorry, we don't serve double mushroom & swiss burgers, we only have mushroom & swiss burgers”. On a completely separate occasion, my father tried to order a double cheeseburger, but to his disappointment, there was no such thing. COME ON!!! How can a restaurant serve regular cheeseburgers and not sell a double. You'd think hamburger buns had a height restriction preventing them from stacking too high. You honestly mean to tell me, that a restaurant that sells hamburgers, can't throw an extra patty on there? Tell you what restaurant, why don't you sell me a bun, cheese, and two patties and I'll assemble the freakin' thing myself. It's also amazing, that a restaurant that sells both a double cheeseburger and a mushroom & swiss burger can't make a double mushroom & swiss burger. I mean seriously, who's cooking back there, Helen Keller?


On the other hand, why can't I ever get a decent waiter or waitress? I can understand that things can get busy or the restaurant is understaffed, but most times I have an issue, its when there is very few people dinning. It's always one of two extremes, you either get the caffeinated cockatoo that feels it necessary to talk to you every three minutes, especially when your mouth is full, or you get the phantom waitress that was there at the start, but has mysteriously fell of the face of the earth right when you need a refill or your check. Oh well, someday, when I rule the world...

I was recently pulling my laundry out of the dryer when I realized I was dropping clothes on the floor. It wasn't because I have horrible motor skills, which compared to most people I probably do, but due to the fact the basket was a freakin' circle!! Whose bright idea was it to think a circular basket would be best when pulling clothes out of a square machine?? So because the basket is a circle, only a small percentage of the basket is up against the machine with all the more possibility the clothes go everywhere. Thankfully, someone was on the same thought path as me and made a square basket.

Speaking of laundry, why is it when we are required to buy two separate machines, one to wash and one to dry, that you load dirty laundry in the top and load wet laundry in the side? I'm assuming I'm not the only one that has dropped clean, wet laundry on the floor trying to do a quick hook shot into the dryer. Where are all the top loading dryers??? As if that wasn't bad enough, the designer decided to put the lint trap right there in the dryer door, just big enough to throw a wet sock into. I don't know how many times I've pulled a sock out of a lint trap that looked like Elmo from Sesame Street. Oh well, someday when I rule the world...

There was this old man using a stepping machines in the physical therapy office I was working in today. When he finished his time on the machine another old man walked over to him and asked how he was enjoying the workout he was required to do. The old man that walked over to him started to tell him how he shouldn't work too hard. He said that he had had a friend that did the same thing, but after he had gotten off the machine, he sat down and died right there. The first old man jokingly said, “That wouldn't be that bad!” and other old man responded by saying “You mean calling it quits?” The first old man had nothing to say as he took a drink and got back on the machine.

Later that day, I went over to an apartment to help a gentleman with a computer problem. This man was quite old, wheelchair bound and a previous customer of mine. While fixing his many PC issues, he launched into a conversation about how the image of a airplane he had on his desktop was just like the one he had flown in WWII; the same story he had told me from the previous service call. Realizing he didn't remember me, I humored him and took part in the conversation like I hadn't heard it before. This time however, he began to tell me how he was slowly going down hill. He couldn't walk because he had a problem with his right knee, which he had had three surgeries to try and fix it, but it still ached a lot. He said he had trouble breathing and he has had to have a urinary catheter put in. I told him that I would be getting old someday too, but I think there was no comfort in that statement.I will get old someday. My body is almost done growing and will soon start the downward spiral toward my last breath. It's easy for me to get caught up in living and forget that I will come to the same spot as these older men. Is there a point were calling it quits seems like a good option? When does the weight of this world or the curse of growing old turn out to be more than we bargained for? You'd think we could do enough good for the world or make a strong enough impact to avoid such a punishment, but that is just not the case. You have to wonder if where we are going after we die is worth the pain and isolation of old age. For me it is, but it doesn't make the idea of getting old any easier to accept.

After listening to these men, I've decided to live where I'm at. I've spent far too long fearing old age and the problems that go with it. I like to think about the older people I've met that have those amazing attitudes that I wish I had. The type of old people that act younger than I do. I want to be that way! Old age be damned, I'm going to live! Far too often I've seen an elderly couple sitting in a restaurant never saying a word to each other, as if they have finally said everything. I will strive to never be that way! I know that there is a plan for my life and it has only just begun to unfold itself and I won't let “calling it quits” become the best option.

Let me end by saying, that my attitude toward growing older has changed, but my respect and understanding for the elderly has not. I understand that it is not always easy and sometimes people have no control over how they age and for that, I sympathize. Just as I will grow old and want to continue my life the way I want to, we need to be compassionate and forgiving to the elderly, so they to can feel life is worth living.

When I was little, I remember getting my Nintendo video game system. I remember it so much, I can recall how the box smelt when we opened it. Thanks to my dads, now regrettable choice to buy me one for Christmas, I've become quite the video game fan boy. Aside from the few games I can remember having a lot of fun playing, I unfortunately remember another part of my video gaming experience a lot more. I remember 1^st player. The amazing power of the first controller. It had to be mine and I would do anything to get it. Why you ask? Well its obvious! First player got to be Mario in Mario Bros. First player got to pick the game settings and enter the game itself, before anyone else could. First player, was in control.

Overall, there really wasn't that much of a difference between first and second player when it came to the gaming experience. Where the difference came from, was the ability to know that I ultimately had the control of how these games would be played. I visited a church meeting/service of a group of people who wanted to start a church. The overall feeling I got while listening to them talk, was as if they were fighting for first player. It sounded as if they knew how church should be done (which is not how all the other churches in the area are doing it of course) and they were going to show the town how to do it the right way. The more I watch people go through the motions of “living life like it was intended to be lived” I find it to be more like “living life for control of how life should be”

It says a lot about a small child that refuses to play a game when he can't be first player and it says a lot about an adult who hates the church because he couldn't have the control he desired. I've heard so many stories about the people who turned away from a good thing, because they couldn't express themselves like they believed they should. It's not the leaving that is so wrong, by all means, if you don't fit in or feel God calling you to your current position, then go find where he is. The problem is in the “up in arms”, “fight for the right” attitude that comes from being told no. Why cant we have grace in the differences we don't understand, rather than having to prove that the way we think it should be done, is the best way? It is simply amazing how many people aren't happy if they can't have first player and the utmost control over certain things.

The problem with leaving something with the “I'll show you” attitude, is that no matter what you do, it will never be built with God in the place he needs to be. That wounded attitude will only attract other people who feel wounded and will ultimately turn your mission into showing the world why you were right. Think about it next time you refuse to play along when you don't get first player. Think about how little your control and influence on situations matter to God and the people your putting them through. More people need to realize God already has first player and most of these selfish thoughts wouldn't happen in the first place.

Take On Me Literally

I've been thinking a lot about where my life is going lately. Where am I going to be in a month from now is kind of frighting. I have so much right here and right now, just the way I like it, even though it's not perfect and has just as many problems as benefits. I have a hard time excepting the possible future as a real possibility.

As I had mentioned in a previous blog, I just got back from a trip to Orange City. I had my map to where I was suppose to go and it was pretty straight forward. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a detour. What luck, I mean, I was on the last straight stretch before I would drive straight into Orange City, only to be taken miles out of my way. After almost having to guess what turns to make in order to get back on the right highway, I made what looked like the final turn onto the highway I needed to be on.

As I drove, my confidence began to wain and I got more and more scared that I had taken the wrong turn somewhere. I began earnestly looking for road signs that would let me know that I was on track. Just like that my Dad called. He got on Google and, with what information I had, found where I was on the map. He assured me that I was going the right way and to just keep going; the town should be coming up. Finally there was a sign.

Gods plan for us is not a road map. Gods plan is merely road signs. He never tells exactly where we are going or exactly how to get there; he only gives us road signs. Get use to it! We will never have it all figured out! We have to wait on his guidance and his directions from point to point and there will be many times where you don't see a sign for what seems like forever. Why do we always jump the gun and yearn for a clear cut route through the chaos? What difference does it make in the long run when your gonna keep going anyway. When I felt I was lost, I didn't pull over and wait for the way to be shown to me. I didn't turn around and try another direction. I kept going. I kept looking for the signs to point the way. The longer a person moves without knowing which way they are going, the harder it is to believe they are following the right path. It happens to all of us.

We lose sight of what was suppose to be great due to lack of signs. Hold on! It's coming! The greatness that we see in Gods plan, he sees through us. Take a look at where you've been and realize there were moments then where all seemed lost, but you're here today. It's not only by the grace of God sometimes, but all the times. When we need it most, God calls us and assures us we are doing it right and if he hasn't done that yet, then call on him yourself.

The gaps that seem the most void of Jesus, are the times when Jesus is there the most. We must only stop searching for the map and start looking for the signs.

This last weekend, I took a drive to Orange City to visit my girlfriend, that I hadn't seen in a little over a month. The drive was long and boring, but a little easier because my brother went along. I told her I was going to call her when I was almost there, but I opted for the surprise entrance. I walked up the stairs to her dorm, with my brother right behind me. As I walked through the door and saw her sitting there, she turned and saw me at the same time. She smiled and ran at me with open arms throwing herself around me like we had been away from each other for years.

As I kissed her and looked into her eyes, it all felt so unreal; like looking through a peep hole in a door. I could feel her and see her, but it all felt like I was still in that moment between waking and sleeping. It took me awhile to realize I was actually there, with her, for real. I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

It was an amazing weekend and I loved every minute of it. It was as if we had started dating for the first time, all over again. However, by the time I got back home into my room and started unpacking all my dirty laundry, I started to wonder if I had ever been there at all. Now as the days slip by and I have almost two months to wait until I see her again, I have to hold on to what I had.

It's hard to believe that this is the rotation our hearts go through with God. When you experience a moment that has come together so perfectly that it's hard to believe it's real or a trouble roadblock that seems impassable is broken down; God is there. These situations happen and are simply amazing, but they slip into the past stepping farther away from being real, day by day. Too many times I look at God and feel like I'm not there; like it's too good to be true, as God and I share success, a time of encouragement, despair or joy. I walk away from those moment only to feel like I was never a part of that. Every day it pushes that experience farther away from my mind until I'm unsure it even happened. Then out of nowhere I experience God again, but unreal due to the time spent apart.

Angela and I have beaten the "out of nowhere experience" because we see and talk to each other everyday over the Internet. Even though we still have unreal feelings that come from being apart for so long, our connectedness and consistent communication, help us push through those empty times when we are so far away. This is why so many people fail to experience God. They simply lack "connectedness and consistent communication". We can't be so quick to give up when distance separates us from people or God. I know I wouldn't give up on Angela, so why should God be any different.