After having a talk with a friend recently, I finally realized the power of being alone. The conversation was heated at times. It was geared towards trying to enlighten the opposite person on what is the right spiritual choice. As we went back and forth it became apparent to me that we weren’t getting anywhere. Then a question flashed through my mind that brought things back into perspective. It was, “All semantics aside, why is it important to you, that this guy believes what you believe?” After thinking through my life’s struggles in my own journey, I realized why believing in God was so important to me.

I couldn’t offer any heart felt story of how God turned me away from drugs or how my life was spared on the brink of death. There were no visions of Jesus or prophecies that that were told to me and then came true. In this thinking I almost lost my own grasp on why I believe there is a God, but before it was too late, it dawned on me. I have never felt truly alone.

Sure there were times when I felt alone. For years I longed for a relationship with a woman, someone I could love and call my own. Night after night I walked into my room alone, but laying in bed, in the dark, talking to God, I always knew it wasn't just me here. It took a long time to get that person, but I knew God was looking out for me. Now I have the most amazing woman in my life, who I couldn't be more satisfied with. Currently my car is falling apart around me as I drive it to work and the bills are starting to pile up. $200 for tires, $120 for a new battery I didn't actually need, and now my starter needs replacement. So now, I have to plot and equate just how much money I have and how to get all this payed off. For a little while in this tornado, I feel alone, but when I tell him what my problems are, I know I'm not alone and they don't feel like problems anymore. I'm going to get through this like I have so many times before.

There in lies the answer. When I relinquish my need to take ownership of my shortcomings, it allows room for God to work. That is when I feel alone the least. I never want to be alone and because of that desire, I know I can't live without God in my life. I know that the void that has been filled by him can only be filled by him and I won't let anyone rob me of that relationship.

There are too many people who have to feel like it's there problem to fix. I've seen so many of my friends depressed over the fact that they know they are the only ones that can solve their problems. We as humans love to take on the burdens of situations with the idea that we can do it and nothing can stop us. It only then takes failure to bruise our pride and show us how alone we really are. No amount of planning will ever prepare you for whats going to happen next in life and we need to get over that obsession of being in control.

This is a clip from my favorite movie of all time: Signs.

So What kind of person are you?? Do you feel alone when life throws you a curve ball or do you live with a hope?? A hope that someone is watching over you and not leaving your life to chance, will help you abandon the loneliness you are feeling, through life's struggles. I know I'm a miracle man.

There was this old man using a stepping machines in the physical therapy office I was working in today. When he finished his time on the machine another old man walked over to him and asked how he was enjoying the workout he was required to do. The old man that walked over to him started to tell him how he shouldn't work too hard. He said that he had had a friend that did the same thing, but after he had gotten off the machine, he sat down and died right there. The first old man jokingly said, “That wouldn't be that bad!” and other old man responded by saying “You mean calling it quits?” The first old man had nothing to say as he took a drink and got back on the machine.

Later that day, I went over to an apartment to help a gentleman with a computer problem. This man was quite old, wheelchair bound and a previous customer of mine. While fixing his many PC issues, he launched into a conversation about how the image of a airplane he had on his desktop was just like the one he had flown in WWII; the same story he had told me from the previous service call. Realizing he didn't remember me, I humored him and took part in the conversation like I hadn't heard it before. This time however, he began to tell me how he was slowly going down hill. He couldn't walk because he had a problem with his right knee, which he had had three surgeries to try and fix it, but it still ached a lot. He said he had trouble breathing and he has had to have a urinary catheter put in. I told him that I would be getting old someday too, but I think there was no comfort in that statement.I will get old someday. My body is almost done growing and will soon start the downward spiral toward my last breath. It's easy for me to get caught up in living and forget that I will come to the same spot as these older men. Is there a point were calling it quits seems like a good option? When does the weight of this world or the curse of growing old turn out to be more than we bargained for? You'd think we could do enough good for the world or make a strong enough impact to avoid such a punishment, but that is just not the case. You have to wonder if where we are going after we die is worth the pain and isolation of old age. For me it is, but it doesn't make the idea of getting old any easier to accept.

After listening to these men, I've decided to live where I'm at. I've spent far too long fearing old age and the problems that go with it. I like to think about the older people I've met that have those amazing attitudes that I wish I had. The type of old people that act younger than I do. I want to be that way! Old age be damned, I'm going to live! Far too often I've seen an elderly couple sitting in a restaurant never saying a word to each other, as if they have finally said everything. I will strive to never be that way! I know that there is a plan for my life and it has only just begun to unfold itself and I won't let “calling it quits” become the best option.

Let me end by saying, that my attitude toward growing older has changed, but my respect and understanding for the elderly has not. I understand that it is not always easy and sometimes people have no control over how they age and for that, I sympathize. Just as I will grow old and want to continue my life the way I want to, we need to be compassionate and forgiving to the elderly, so they to can feel life is worth living.