My Golden Ticket

Killing Spiders Outside

2010-07-22T10:56:00.004-05:00

I hate spiders. A lot. Anytime I see one inside the house I stop everything and kill it. However recently I have had a slight change of heart. Not enough to make me start cuddling with them or anything, but enough to treat them with the respect they deserve. Two things caused this paradigm shift. First, I was over at my Fiancés apartment and she was complaining about fruit flies. Wandering around the kitchen while she was cleaning, I noticed on a plant in the window was a fairly large web on it and a spider the size of a watermelon seed. I said “Yuck. You got a spider living in your plant.” That's when she freaked out and told me to kill it (she hates them more than me). However, I noticed the web was covered in little specs; fruit flies. I told her she should leave it cause it was solving her fruit fly problem and she said that was fine being it was far away from her normal activities. I had always known that spiders ate insects, but never really thought of it in this helpful light before. So I left it to do what it was best at.

The second, and I think most important spider moment, also involved Angela. We were standing outside somewhere when I heard her shriek. I turned and looked down to see a spider the size of a half dollar skittering across the ground. Just like that, out of instinct I'm sure, she stepped on it, killing it. I instantly felt bad. For something I hated so much, for the first time, I felt bad for it. It was outside where it was supposed to be and even then, we killed it. It didn't deserve that at all. I have sense then taken a “stop and think” method to spider removal. Even though I still find spiders disgusting, if I can get it outside without killing it, I will.

I think that Christians get in the habit of killing spiders outside. We are so quick to act on our instincts and smash a spider because it's something we don't like, even when it's where we'd expect it to be. We can't do this to people, just like we shouldn't do it to spiders.

Through your lifetime you will see people who don't live like you, act like you or believe like you and our tendency is to stomp it out of our lives and proceed more safely, but those people are right where they need to be, for you to make a difference in their lives. When we focus on the fact that a spider is disgusting or scary we forget the utility and value they have in our world, as with the fruit flies. The same is for those people we don't see eye to eye with. We need to stop acting on our instincts that say “Quick kill it!” and learn to love people through our differences. When we do that our lives aren't controlled by fear or our incompatibility, but how all of us have a purpose and a reason to be here.

As for me and my dislike of spiders, I don't think I'll ever keep one as a pet, but they hold a very different spot in my heart now.

Describe the Pain

2010-05-11T10:20:00.006-05:00

For the first time in who knows how long I had to go to the dentist a couple weeks ago. I avoid that place like the plague and hope and pray that I never have teeth problems. However, that all changed when I awoke one night with horrible tooth pain. It was one of the worst nights of my entire life. The pain was unbearable and I couldn't sleep. First thing in the morning I had to call the dentist. I reluctantly made an appointment and prepared myself for the horrible experience ahead of me.As I was sitting in the chair waiting for the dentist to come in and look at my mouth, I sat and listened to the wretched sound of drills. When you have a toothache the first thing the dentist asks is, “Can you describe where the pain is at?” Having next to no idea of where the pain was at rather than a general location, he began tapping on teeth and asking which one hurt. Eventually we nailed down the fact that it was my wisdom teeth, but I'll save that horrific experience for another blog entry.

Recently a friend of mine was getting sick on a regular basis and wasn't able to eat much. Having no idea what the problem was, she went to the hospital to get it checked out. Exploratory surgery found it to be a tumor in her lower intestine, which was removed and she appears to be on the path to recovery.

Why is it the only time we get help, is when we don't know what is wrong with us? People with real identifiable problems go weeks, months or even years at a time with a known problem they never seek out help for. The hardest part for any kind of addict, is admitting they have a problem and that is from drugs to less obvious things like money or pornography. It seems though, that because the problem is easily identifiable, it's just as easily ignored.

God wants us to come to him with our problems and that can be easy, however the real struggle seems to be getting the help we need. We can tell God our problems and then lean back as we hope he will magically fix them, but too often we miss the real life opportunities he is putting in front of us as we sit waiting for a miracle. The point I am trying to make here is, don't wait. If you have real issues and you know it, then get the help you need. Give them up to God first and then be prepared to have them taken care of in what may be a simple or common way. God does work in mysterious ways, but sometimes he's just asking you to take the first step in the obvious directions.

But He's Still Happy!

2010-04-29T10:22:00.003-05:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Comming out of Retirement

2010-04-28T10:05:00.005-05:00

Took a long time off from the whole blog thing, not that I needed it, but because I've just been neglecting it out of a lack of interest. However now I am back and have decided to make my updates more frequent. So stay tuned I'll have a full blog post in a day or two. Until then enjoy this trailer for, "The Kevin Malone Story"

Funny Wal-Mart Commercial for a change!

2010-02-01T12:09:00.002-06:00

Growing Pains

2010-01-11T23:54:00.009-06:00

When I was a little kid, I use to get pains in my leg at night. It didn't happen all the time, but often enough to make it hard to sleep. Everyone has had these pains before, because our bodies were growing. However, that never made it any less confusing. Being young and so new to the world of pain, growth and change, pain without reason was disheartening. I use to toss and turn for hours. Some nights my mother would try to help by massaging my leg and that would help, but only until the next one hit.

These are growing pains. Our bodies being transformed and shaped into what they were meant to be is a miracle, but it makes it no less painful. However our physical change is second to our hearts transformation. Just as it aches when our muscles and bones are stretched, so to does our hearts and our souls.

On an individual basis we go through the fire daily. When we were young it was easy to get lost in life changing moments. The girl you loved that turned you down, a friend that left you or the grade that wasn't what you expected. Maybe it was a job you loved and lost or a loved one that passed away. It could have been a broken promise, a betrayal, or even an insult. Maybe it was something fantastic, like a first kiss or the smell of the hot pavement after a rain. The grass on your bare feet, neighborhood baseball or your first time off the high dive is still as much a part of you today as it was when it happened.Whatever it was, it hit you and left a mark you now carry forever.

Everyday is a growing pain, good or bad. The days stretch us and make us think we will always ache. It aches, because we will never be the same. God asks us to change everyday, to stand up to the growing pains and move forward with a determination that can't be stopped. I've decided to follow God in everything I do and for that reason there is no amount of ache, caused by me or other people, that will prevent me from doing that.

If there is one thing to take away from all this, this is it: Peace is not the absence of pain, but the presence of power. That power is God.

You will have growing pains. We all do. Will they control you?

Merry Christmas Everyone

2009-12-17T11:28:00.001-06:00

I'm Too Young To Die!

2009-12-05T13:49:00.003-06:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

My Passion...

2009-12-03T11:40:00.004-06:00

...doesn't exist some days. I have days where I have to struggle, to want to love God. I know who he is and the importance he holds in my life, but there are days I don't want to pray. I am at ease with my lack of desire for Jesus, because I am happy with where I am at in life. I love the church and want to see it exemplify what Christ stands for, but that is so separate from where I stand some days, that I feel like this is simply my job to want the church to grow and that holds no passion. There is no spirituality to my strategic planning and knowledge I have gained and that seems OK sometimes. I find myself not talking to God as someone I love, but asking him to teach me how to love him, because I simply lack that.

Making God a conscious thought all the time is hard and takes a commitment that I have come to except as too difficult to take seriously. However, complacency is not where I can reside and a low point is not where to quit. I have these days as I am sure everyone does, but the difference between someone who found God and someone who chased a high becomes apparent in their ability to find God again.

Everyday that I acknowledge I have lost my passion is an opportunity to find and increase it that much more. Too many abandon ship far too early, missing the opportunity that God is hoping you will use to truly find your passion for him again. People avoid acknowledging they don't love God for fear they will be loosing their religion. The truth is, those are the moments he wants to teach you how to love him. More than you ever thought you have.

We are imperfect people and loving God is certainly affected by that imperfection, so admit it! Stop faking! If you are unable to love God, but act like you do, you can't address the problem. If you don't address you have a problem, God can't help you through it. Thus you spin in this circle getting farther and farther away from God, until your faith becomes a shell with no real meaning. All of this simply caused by humans inability to relinquish their pride and admit they are imperfect.

Break yourself in front of Christ and admit your failings. God will not leave you in this quandary if you ask for help. When you feel like there is no chance of rescue, hang on; you are almost there.

Hebrews 13:5
...because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

And in this we can trust that he is there when we don't know how to love him, don't think we can do it, don't have the strength, courage, passion or abilities, when we cry out and when we praise him. Never give up on him. Never give up.

The Greatest Thing You Will See All Day

2009-11-24T14:22:00.002-06:00

Just so you know I'm still alive

2009-09-16T22:54:00.003-05:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Home

2009-08-19T21:53:00.002-05:00

Wish I were with you
I couldn't stay
Every direction
Leads me away
Pray for tomorrow
But for today

All I want is to be home

Stand in the mirror
You look the same
Just lookin' for shelter
From cold and the pain
Someone to cover
Safe from the rain

All I want is to be home

Echoes and silence

Patience and grace
All of these moments
I'll never replace
No fear of my heart
Absence of faith

All I want is to be home
Ooh

All I want is to be home

People I've loved
I have no regrets
Some I remember
Some I forget
Some of them living
Some of them dead

All I want is to be home

Muse Knights Of Cydonia - A Capella

2009-08-10T22:50:00.001-05:00

Amazing, but kinda pathetic too...

In Case you need to hear the orginal, click here

Now This, Is a Water Slide!

2009-08-05T23:25:00.000-05:00

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

One-Hour Lifestyles

2009-07-29T22:42:00.003-05:00

I came across this journal entry today and found that there was a lot to be learned from this experience of mine, so I decided I wanted to share it with you.

9/18/2006

I had the unnerving pleasure of developing some film today for a woman who had recently lost her newborn baby. Being the only one working and utterly swamped, I approached the counter to help two women when I was handed a letter. The woman said the letter was to go with the roll of film and I was supposed to read it. After taking the roll of film to the back I continued working frantically to keep up. With orders slowly slipping past the one hour mark, I was forced to tell people it would take more than an hour. I finally got to the woman’s film and read the letter. I was told to be very careful with the film for these would be the only memories this woman would have of her lost child. I put the film through the processor and continued working.

The mother of this child must have overheard me telling customers that it would take longer than an hour and approached me at the counter. She was wondering if her order was going to be late and she said she needed them as soon as possible. She had to go out of town to the funeral and she had little time. As she was listing off why her time was short, she started to tear up. She was talking to me as if I was part of her current circumstances. We were looking at each other and for a moment I felt as if I was an element of it; a character in this part of her story. I said I would do everything I could to get hers done on time.

It was hard to scan those photos. It was hard to look at the loss, what most have been the greatest of failures in this woman’s eyes; maybe not her failure, but the malfunction of life. I don’t know what it’s like to loose something so cherished, but there in front of me was someone’s contribution to this world and their own life, captured only in a photograph. I didn’t know how to feel about this. Maybe I should have felt sorry for her and the cards that were dealt. Maybe I should have felt foolish for being so emotionless when I asked if she wanted doubles or a CD with these pictures, not knowing what they were of. Perhaps I should feel like a hero for completing her order on time and trying to give her a look and a smile that conveyed sentiment as I handed her the pictures. All of these are not what this is about.

We all try so hard to distance ourselves from loss and failure, so as to make ourselves feel like it can’t happen to us. Our desire to make it through another day unscathed by problems is enough to put other people’s dilemmas on a shelf. For a moment, after sending this mother on her way, I didn’t feel anything. After thinking about it for a little bit, I didn’t believe it right to feel bad for her or to feel pity, because how can you share those feelings with someone without making them more aware of the hurt? Did God cry when this happened? Did he hug his own son and resent the world he created for an moment? Did He even ask, “Why?”

God hates sin, he loathes it. Whose sin was it that caused this child to die? It doesn’t matter. God does not delight in sin and thus he does not make sin befall anyone. So we have to ask ourselves, are we with God against sin or are we against God because of what he has “done” to us?

I have a great respect for this mother, which in my heart she will always be, because her life will be filled with many complicated questions to triumph over. I can only hope and pray, that as each day passes in her life, she will find the strength to press on, knowing that one day she will see her child again and she will call her, mother.

WWJD?

2009-07-20T15:02:00.001-05:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Shadow Dancer

2009-07-12T18:03:00.000-05:00

My Brothers Friends...

Remind me again who this is about?

2009-06-30T12:34:00.008-05:00

Lately I have been studying a lot about what church should look and feel like. I've been reading a lot of books and blog entries from people who have a certain view and I find one reoccurring trait that is having a hard time taking hold. Summed up in a word, it's selflessness. Being part of a nation that makes you believe you can be who and what you want to be, only encourages us to take that same mindset into church. There are three words that don't belong in church if used in a selfish manner.

1. Disdain:

1. to look upon or treat with contempt; despise; scorn.
2. To think unworthy of notice, response, etc.; consider beneath oneself:
“to disdain replying to an insult.”

To think of anyone or any particular issue with disdain is to put yourself in a place of control above it and its relevance. Followers of Christ are to lead by example and doing so makes you no better than anyone else. When has contempt, despise or scorn ever fit into what Christ calls you to be or how he wants you to treat others? This sort of feeling arises from the individual arrogance that “I am who the church is serving and they had better realize that, for my sake.”

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

2. Offended:

1. to irritate, annoy, or anger; cause resentful displeasure in:
“Even the hint of prejudice offends me.”
2. to affect (the sense, taste, etc.) disagreeably.
3. to violate or transgress (a criminal, religious, or moral law).
4. to cause resentful displeasure; irritate, annoy, or anger:
“a remark so thoughtless it can only offend.”

Let me first say, that if something in church could be considered offensive, someone should bring it to the attention of the leadership team in a reasonable manner. The problem with this word though, is that it is used far too often as an avenue to create change, show influence or create a position within a group of people. The issue, however, isn't about something being offensive, but whether or not it is used as an opportunity to “be someone”. More often than not, someones threshold for being offended by something is in direct relation to their original intentions for being involved with a church group. If you come to church to be served or gain something for yourself, don't be surprised when you are angry or upset, because you are not being served in the way you think you should. This mindset was never Christs intention for the church or the people who attend it.

Proverbs 18:1-2 An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment. A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.

3. Apathy:

1. absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement.
2. lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.

Church needs to be a place of excitement and movement! If you lack that or despise that, it's is time to check out of church and into a hospice. It says in 1 Corinthians 3:16 - “Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?” Back in the times of the Old Testament, the temple was where people went to see God, it was a physical manifestation of God on this earth. In this passage, Paul is saying we are to be that temple. Is your church/temple full of apathetic people? If so, is that what you want people to see God as when they come to your church?

It's time to stop being selfish and thinking about ourselves, but to realize true joy comes from serving together, as a community, built to show God's love. It's not about us and I hope you can stand with me in saying, I'm willing to sacrifice my own desires and ideals to see Gods kingdom glorified and the world we live in impacted daily.

Balance Beam

2009-06-27T10:44:00.006-05:00

That's Pretty Slow Dude...

2009-06-20T16:10:00.005-05:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Why So Shallow?

2009-06-12T17:40:00.004-05:00

How deep is your life in Christ? Is it lacking depth or feel superficial sometimes? Having the unique opportunity to be involved in ministry everyday, I get the chance to peer into peoples spiritual lives. It's hard to believe, but there are so many that have such a shallow acquaintance with God and yet have the arrogance to think that they are a blessing to Gods' ministry. I'm amazed at peoples ability to take ownership over the most stupid things and fight for it as if Jesus had died for it and not us. Kansas said it best:

“And if I claim to be a wise man, well, It surely means that I don't know.”

Is it so easy to attack others beliefs so as to avoid examining our own? I mean, we are right and they are wrong so they must be told, right? I just have to say that sometimes I'm so disgusted by the way Christians act, so arrogant and self righteous , that I feel like I should apologize to someone for the way they act. How did we get so shallow? Is your faith in Christ simply skin deep?

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Galatians 5:13-14

Really? Serve one another? Love your neighbor as you would want to be loved? That means it doesn't matter whether a guy is an atheist, gay or been divorced even though you know it's wrong. That means it doesn't matter how a church service should or shouldn't look like. That means, the way you think it should be done, or how important you think it is to have a certain spiritual gift and whether or not you use it enough, doesn't matter. That means through all the religious nonsense and bits and pieces we want to call our own and die for, don't stand for squat in comparison to serving eachother in love. Just because it's not right doesn't mean it's time to form a mob! Let it go people! Stop running around trying to make sure you understand it all or putting out pointless fires. It's time to go back to basics.

1. It's time to start loving people unconditionally again. That means loving people and not expecting anything in return as well as loving them no matter how wrong they are. We have to release the joy we have for the father we follow and stop worrying about whether or not Christianity is serving us like it should.

2. It's time to make sure other people know who God is and the benefits of a journey with him. Have we got so comfortable in the fact that we found God that we have forgotten that someone told us in the first place? We have to stop worrying about raising people from the dead, speaking in tongues, getting the books of the bible memorized or shopping only at the “good Christian store”. It's time to realize someone showed you Christ and now it's your time to return the favor, not just once, but every opportunity you get for the rest of your days on earth.

3. It's time to realize you are not Gods gift to Christianity. The church is not your personal soapbox. We need to stop treating it like a club for those who believe what we believe. I want to go to church for community, encouragement and a family of believers that is ever growing! I don't want to sit in the same stagnant group of people that is not going anywhere or impacting anyone.

4. It's time to change. This one is personal only. We can not change anyone, we can only offer support and wisdom along the way. Ultimately people will make the final decision and this is why we need to stop making it our burden to change those around us. Back to basics means, we realize we will forever be a work in progress, so stop being so judgmental.

Step away from the shallow Christianity I see so many infected with. Search for a depth in Christ that only he can give. Remember, it's not about us. So take this quote and put it to heart. The next time you feel offended or as if you know whats right, make sure you have this down first and it may save you a lot of heartache.

Oh God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirst for more.
I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace.
I am ashamed of my lack of desire.
O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee;
I long to be filled with longing;
I thirst to be made more thirsty still.
Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed.
Begin in mercy a new work of love within me.
Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away."
Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland
where I have wandered so long. - A.W. Tozer.

Tastes Funny

2009-06-04T22:33:00.001-05:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

If your church closed its doors today, would your community know it?

2009-05-28T14:45:00.006-05:00

If your church closed its doors today, would your community know it? Honestly, think about it. Where is our impact or our presence, more importantly? Do we offer enough value to the town we live in to make it a important part of our community? If our town isn't effected by the loss of our ministry, we aren't doing it well enough. We have to start giving to the people that need Gods love, until it hurts. Simply saying we need to give sounds so vague, but it is in everything, that we should give of ourselves.

We need to give of our talents and skills to the community to serve them. This means if you are good at fixing cars, you find someone that can't afford to have their car fixed and fix it for them! The cool part about this is, it doesn't have to be a friend of yours or someone from the church. You will be growing Gods kingdom through your abilities to serve others outside of the church. Maybe you're skilled in carpentry or managing finances. Maybe you are a good listener and simply give your ear to those who need it. What unique ability do you have that can impact your community and grow your church?

We need to give of our money and possessions to the community to serve them. Keep in mind, I don't simply mean start writing checks to people or giving your car away, but rather to be aware of the needs that people have. What better way to show Gods love to someone than giving of yourself in their time of need. Maybe you have a refrigerator or major kitchen appliance you no longer need and can give to a family who doesn't have one. Maybe someone is having a hard month financially and you offer to pay for some gas or buy basic household necessities like laundry detergent or toilet paper. Maybe a single mom needs diapers and you decide to supply them for a couple months. What does this sort of selfless serving show people? What does this tell them about the Jesus you have in your life? What finances or things do you have that can impact your community and grow your church?

Don't forget the church. We need to give of ourselves and our money to the church so it can grow and impact the community through our ability to serve them. The church will grow and impact many, as you give of your time and money to build it. I just recently started tithing and giving 10% of my wages every week and let me be the first to tell you, it isn't easy. In probably one of the lowest points of my life financially, I lost my job and am collecting unemployment, I decided that it was too big of a risk not to give back to God. It's not my money in the first place, I only have because he gives it to me and to accept this makes it all the easier to give it away to others. Since giving my money back to God, I have have been blessed both emotionally and financially. I feel good about myself knowing that I don't have to be chained to my income and since then, I've got more work to make more money and I have even bought a house, only by Gods doing. What can you do in your church both financially and personally to build it and become valuable to your community?

We need to give of our hearts to the community to serve them. We need to realize that this movie we call our lives, does not star us. The greatest things you can do in your life, are that of which we do for others. We have to stop being selfish and thinking it's all about us, our church, our building, our money and get back to the basics of serving those who need it. When is the last time you heard someone in need and walked away. I'm sure it's more often than you care to think about, I know it is for me. We need to stop trying to get comfortable and suffering more for the betterment of the people that God is trying to reach. It is not us that needs people to be saved! There isn't a tally sheet somewhere that is keeping track of the people we have led to the Lord, because it isn't us doing it! God needs to reach people and we need to open ourselves up to the people Christ wants us to be, so he can do just that; reach people! It's time to start being the follower Jesus intended us to be and give back to our community and the people in it. If your church closed its doors today, would your community know it?

Lets make sure they do.

I would never think this way...

2009-05-08T10:52:00.003-05:00

Feel Good Fanatics

2009-05-04T11:12:00.007-05:00

My mind tends to go to amazing places at night. When I lay in bed and stare into my room that used to look different lit, everything settles and my thoughts become louder than they have been all day. I began to think about where I am at and how different it would be if I had never taken that chance or that risk. How incredible, that my choices have brought me to this moment right now. I feel lonely here, but not alone. Once my thoughts have gotten past talking to myself, they move to those I love and how I miss them. Some of them are many hours away and others are simply downstairs, however none are close enough to remove the loneliness. There is only one person left to go to and far too often the last one I check on. Realizing that he's the only one that truly makes me feel valuable I began to wish I was done here.

I know my role in this world is far from finished and the plans for me he repeats over and over making the possibilities seem endless. As much as I yearn to be “home”, I realize there are people that feel the same way I do. They feel that same loneliness and yearning, but have no idea where to fill that void. In that I understand why I feel selfish in wanting to be done here. I know that there are people out there that take these same feelings and without knowing there is a father that cares for them, act violently and may even decide to end it all themselves.

I have something so great that I can't pack my bags and prepare for home without making sure that everyone knows what I know. How selfish are we that we go to church with the intention of using what we learn only to benefit ourselves? In fact, how selfish are we, to just go to church? I understand now, that God removes that loneliness from me so I have the confidence to reach into someones life and show them how God can remove it from theirs. How egotistical to think God is here to serve me and make me feel good! How did we turn into feel good fanatics? Is that why you became a Christian; to feel good? After what I have done in my life I deserve nothing! The self-centered mindset has run rampant through the Christian world and it has to stop.

Think about it, who does Christian music serve? Who are we serving when we wear our Christian T-Shirts or go to our Christian bookstore? Don't get me wrong, those things are all great and useful, but when they become the epicenter of what our relationship with God is, we've moved past the simple joy of having those things in our life and instead built our lives around them. My point is, a good Christian song or a T-shirt never saved anyone. We need to move past thinking, that as long as people know what I believe we've done our part. No one cares what you believe, but they do care about how you show Christs love through your serving. We need to get out there and sacrifice of ourselves more than just what we wear or what we listen to. We need to truly care for those who need us, because the only way God reaches into people's lives, is if we do.

All Around the World

2009-04-28T18:03:00.004-05:00

I don't usually post this many video's in a row like this, but this has just got to be seen!

Playing For Change | Song Around The World "Stand By Me" from Concord Music Group on Vimeo.

Taken from the Website www.Gizmodo.com

This cover of Stand By Me was recorded by completely unknown artists in a street virtual studio all around the world. It all started with a base track—vocals and guitar—recorded on the streets of Santa Monica, California, by a street musician called Roger Ridley. The base track was then taken to New Orleans, Louisiana, where Grandpa Elliott—a blind singer from the French Quarter—added vocals and harmonica while listening to Ridley's base track on headphones. In the same city, Washboard Chaz's added some metal percussion to it.

And from there, it just gets rock 'n' rolling bananas: The producers took the resulting mix all through Europe, Africa, and South America, adding new tracks with multiple instruments and vocals that were assembled in the final version you are seeing in this video. All done with a simple laptop and some microphones.

I Wanna Be This Guy

2009-04-28T15:17:00.005-05:00

This guy is Like the perfect cross between Gallagher and Shortround from Indian Jones, on a Jean-Claude Van Dam version of River Dance. Kicking the tar out of people while chewing on piece of gum like it's going out of style. Man, I think I just gave myself the chills.

Gotta See this

2009-04-20T14:37:00.001-05:00

Man oh Man...

Sneezing In Ultra Slow Motion - Watch more Funny Videos

Manic Monday #3 - What a Hobbyist n00b

2009-03-30T10:37:00.010-05:00

This last weekend I was listening to my friends talk about motorcycles. I’ve never been one to get involved in those types of conversations, but I started to really listen to how they were talking about their favorite hobby. This is where it came to my attention that when you are involved in a particular hobby or activity that other people call their own as well, you always get two types. The speaker will always refer to two sides in their current hobby. The first being the older people involved. They are either looked up to as teachers who you are always learning from, due to their experience, or scoffed at because they are old and been “doing it” too long to have any good sense in current trends a.k.a. “stuck in their ways”.

The second group of people, and my personal favorite, “the new guys”. They are also referred to as noobs/n00bs, newbies, new meat, youngin’s, and generally inexperienced. No matter what these people do, if they come into the hobby after you have already been involved for sometime, they will most assuredly be treated like they know nothing. As innocent as their ideas may be, they will always be baulked at by people who have “been in the business” longer then them. These types of people can only get out of the “noob league” if they submit themselves to the older generation as the teacher type mentioned before. Even then, they will always been seen as less knowledgeable. In case you need it, here is the urban dictionary’s definition of a noob and a newb:

Contrary to the belief of many, a noob/n00b and a newbie/newb are not the same thing. Newbs are those who are new to some task* and are very beginner at it, possibly a little overconfident about it, but they are willing to learn and fix their errors to move out of that stage. n00bs, on the other hand, know little and have no will to learn any more. They expect people to do the work for them and then expect to get praised about it, and make up a unique species of their own.

The amazing part in all this is while listening to others talk about their hobbies, they are never a part of either group. They will always make fun of the noobs/newbs, praise the teachers and condemn the stubborn. They will never put themselves into either of the main categories and will never admit their own shortcomings in front of others they feel are in the same league as them. I know I probably do the same thing when it comes to my own hobbies, but I at least have this piece of knowledge to try and curve these things. People are so oblivious sometimes. Oh well, someday when I rule the world...

Airplane

2009-03-23T11:41:00.006-05:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Sign Me Up!!!

2009-03-03T11:24:00.001-06:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Gas Pump Jesus

2009-02-18T15:36:00.003-06:00

I heard someone say that church is the fuel that gets him through the week. That seems so wrong. Is that what church is? Is it a simple drive-in and fuel-up, so you can get from point to point until you run out again? I commute to Decorah from Waukon, and as every day goes by, I watch my fuel gauge drop until I need to go fill it. I hope my life with Christ is nothing like this. Think of it this way; What good does gas do for your car, if you don't use the gas to go places that are important? What happens if you fill your tank at the end of every week, but you never use that gas to take your car to the mechanic or the car wash? It does nothing for your car.

This is why church shouldn't be a fuel pump. People go get energized and happy, in hopes that it will fill them with enough strength to make it to the next Sunday, without dying along side the road somewhere. On top of that, why should you have to have church to get through your week? Is church nothing more than your source of courage or perseverance to keep going? If so, you are missing the point of church. God wants to use your church experience to get you motivated to affect the world you live in, not just navigate it safely and efficiently. Church was never intended to be anyone's gas station, God wants more out of us than to “make it through” our weeks.

So here it is: Church is not the fuel to get you from place to place, but the vehicle in which you are traveling in. You need to take church with you everywhere you go. The church God wants to create, is the one that goes where God has plans to affect peoples lives. Just like going to the mechanic or car wash, you need to get tuned up and washed clean so you can start over and be in the world with a passion for the masses. Sunday morning church is a tool to use in your drive with God, but not the only source of your faith. We need to stop longing for Sunday to come so we can feel better about our struggles and start knowing God is always there, all week long. We have to stop living up to the stereotype that Christianity is a crutch, by showing we can live in confidence day to day and not just on Sunday morning.

Dancing Sports Fanatic

2009-02-18T12:33:00.003-06:00

Sometimes, you just gotta dance...

David After Dentist

2009-02-03T17:45:00.005-06:00

After a dentist trip and a little too much happy gas...

Alone?

2009-01-23T12:11:00.005-06:00

After having a talk with a friend recently, I finally realized the power of being alone. The conversation was heated at times. It was geared towards trying to enlighten the opposite person on what is the right spiritual choice. As we went back and forth it became apparent to me that we weren’t getting anywhere. Then a question flashed through my mind that brought things back into perspective. It was, “All semantics aside, why is it important to you, that this guy believes what you believe?” After thinking through my life’s struggles in my own journey, I realized why believing in God was so important to me.

I couldn’t offer any heart felt story of how God turned me away from drugs or how my life was spared on the brink of death. There were no visions of Jesus or prophecies that that were told to me and then came true. In this thinking I almost lost my own grasp on why I believe there is a God, but before it was too late, it dawned on me. I have never felt truly alone.

Sure there were times when I felt alone. For years I longed for a relationship with a woman, someone I could love and call my own. Night after night I walked into my room alone, but laying in bed, in the dark, talking to God, I always knew it wasn't just me here. It took a long time to get that person, but I knew God was looking out for me. Now I have the most amazing woman in my life, who I couldn't be more satisfied with. Currently my car is falling apart around me as I drive it to work and the bills are starting to pile up. $200 for tires, $120 for a new battery I didn't actually need, and now my starter needs replacement. So now, I have to plot and equate just how much money I have and how to get all this payed off. For a little while in this tornado, I feel alone, but when I tell him what my problems are, I know I'm not alone and they don't feel like problems anymore. I'm going to get through this like I have so many times before.

There in lies the answer. When I relinquish my need to take ownership of my shortcomings, it allows room for God to work. That is when I feel alone the least. I never want to be alone and because of that desire, I know I can't live without God in my life. I know that the void that has been filled by him can only be filled by him and I won't let anyone rob me of that relationship.

There are too many people who have to feel like it's there problem to fix. I've seen so many of my friends depressed over the fact that they know they are the only ones that can solve their problems. We as humans love to take on the burdens of situations with the idea that we can do it and nothing can stop us. It only then takes failure to bruise our pride and show us how alone we really are. No amount of planning will ever prepare you for whats going to happen next in life and we need to get over that obsession of being in control.

This is a clip from my favorite movie of all time: Signs.

So What kind of person are you?? Do you feel alone when life throws you a curve ball or do you live with a hope?? A hope that someone is watching over you and not leaving your life to chance, will help you abandon the loneliness you are feeling, through life's struggles. I know I'm a miracle man.

The Song You Hear

2009-01-13T16:38:00.003-06:00

Note: If you would like to hear the song, simply hit next on the player above, thank you.
The song that is playing is by Brian "HEAD" Welch a man who dealt with a Meth addiction for the greater part of his life. He is formerly the guitarist from Korn, but has since moved on to his own band named, "HEAD". These are the words of a man who has finally found what he was looking for and it wasn't in a syringe. I believe that God is after us through all of our struggles and this is a story that confirms that. This song is, by what I can gather, from God's perspective and his struggle to save Brian.

L.O.V.E. by HEAD

I gave you everything
All the pain life brings
Just to get you to come back to Me
I want to give you light
I don't want to ever fight
Stop resisting and come home to Me
You're so afraid of love
There's not much time
All the pain inside just makes you want to die

Love Me
Don't hate Me
You're angry
It's OK
Trust Me
Come this way
Live in Eternity
I'm the real drug to take
To numb your heartache
Stop your running and come back to Me

I've had it up to here
I cried way too many tears
You'll keep suffering til you come to me
Outside you act so tough
But inside you cry
All the pain inside just makes you want to die

Love Me
Don't hate Me
You're angry
It's OK
Trust Me
Come this way
Live in Eternity

Your soul is Mine
Your soul is Mine
I don't want to fight
Your soul is Mine
Don't be unkind

Your soul is Mine
Your soul is Mine
I don't lie
I swear you'll never die
Stay alive
When I restore all mankind

Love Me
Don't hate Me
You're angry
It's OK
Trust Me
Come this way
Live in Eternity
Come see
You'll soon be
Not guilty
And set free

You're what???

2009-01-09T09:55:00.000-06:00

I was recently thinking back and I stumbled upon a story that made me laugh again. So I just have to share this story to anyone that cares, because I find it hilarious. A while back, I was at a cookout with friends and family when this little girl comes up to me. She says that her friend wasn't invited, but was wondering if she could have some lemonade. So I said sure and went to get her a glass.

I walked it over to the girl and said "Here you go!". She was so excited to get the drink that she started talking to me like I was her best friend. She said "Oh hey thanks, Gee I'm thirsty, ha ha! I've just been masturbating around the park!"

O_o

Excuse me what?

I don't know what word she was trying to say, but it was certainly not what she meant.

So I walked over to my dad and told him about it. He kinda smiled and then said, "Well you probably just heard her wrong." Just like that a buddy walked up behind us and said "Hey guys, you'll never guess what this little girl just said to me."

We both laughed until we cried! The timing was worthy of a sitcom! Anyway... Be careful the next time you go to the park, who knows what goes on in those places.

Merry Christmas!!

2008-12-24T10:18:00.001-06:00

The Dramatic Hamster

2008-12-19T11:27:00.001-06:00

Nothing & No One

2008-12-15T15:44:00.000-06:00

Sometimes when I pray, I look into my eyes at the nothing that is there and think to myself, “Feels like I haven't done this in awhile.”. I know I believe and I know that I know, but that doesn't feel good enough. Have I got so caught in the idea of who God is and knowing that I know, that my relationship takes a passenger seat to everything else. I knew I wasn't good at being like him, but am I becoming terrible? Since when did I have it figured out well enough, to not have to work on it anymore? Maybe there is a point in every God filled relationship where you walk away and live on your own just so you can experience what it's like to be on your own. Kind of like children at a park testing their parents on how far away they can get completely by themselves. Everything in this world is geared towards getting the information on how to do something so you can get out there and do it yourself. I'm saddened by the fact that I have taken my relationship with Jesus in the same manner.

Just yesterday, I finished leading worship and took my seat in the back, when my mother started singing Silent Night. That song has always been my favorite Christmas song, but something new came out of it this time. I sat in the back and cried quietly to myself, as each line hit with a conviction that only God could. For once in my life, I sat with no thoughts in my head, as I simply let the song come in and remind me of how it all started and how I got to where I am now. With the most sincerity I have ever had, I simply said “I love you.”. This felt as foreign as my prayers have lately, but only for a second. Before the thought had completely passed, I felt that same sincerity return to me and I no longer felt like a stranger. Just as the song says, Christ the Saviour is born, and he was born in me again that moment. I was the most complete I could be. All it took was something as simple as I love you? There had to be more to it than that! That was where I have always fallen short. It is that simple and I had only distanced myself farther away by not letting that go. It is that simple.

Here it is: you can start over, he is always waiting, we make the choice and the cavern separating us from him, is all our own doing. Nothing and no one, means more to me then him.

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth "

Manic Monday #2 - Take My Order Please

2008-12-01T17:26:00.000-06:00

So, I was eating at a restaurant a couple of days ago and my brother wanted to order a double mushroom & swiss burger. However, after telling the waitress what he wanted she promptly replied by saying “ Sorry, we don't serve double mushroom & swiss burgers, we only have mushroom & swiss burgers”. On a completely separate occasion, my father tried to order a double cheeseburger, but to his disappointment, there was no such thing. COME ON!!! How can a restaurant serve regular cheeseburgers and not sell a double. You'd think hamburger buns had a height restriction preventing them from stacking too high. You honestly mean to tell me, that a restaurant that sells hamburgers, can't throw an extra patty on there? Tell you what restaurant, why don't you sell me a bun, cheese, and two patties and I'll assemble the freakin' thing myself. It's also amazing, that a restaurant that sells both a double cheeseburger and a mushroom & swiss burger can't make a double mushroom & swiss burger. I mean seriously, who's cooking back there, Helen Keller?

On the other hand, why can't I ever get a decent waiter or waitress? I can understand that things can get busy or the restaurant is understaffed, but most times I have an issue, its when there is very few people dinning. It's always one of two extremes, you either get the caffeinated cockatoo that feels it necessary to talk to you every three minutes, especially when your mouth is full, or you get the phantom waitress that was there at the start, but has mysteriously fell of the face of the earth right when you need a refill or your check. Oh well, someday, when I rule the world...

Manic Monday #1 - Clothes Baskets

2008-11-17T11:06:00.000-06:00

I was recently pulling my laundry out of the dryer when I realized I was dropping clothes on the floor. It wasn't because I have horrible motor skills, which compared to most people I probably do, but due to the fact the basket was a freakin' circle!! Whose bright idea was it to think a circular basket would be best when pulling clothes out of a square machine?? So because the basket is a circle, only a small percentage of the basket is up against the machine with all the more possibility the clothes go everywhere. Thankfully, someone was on the same thought path as me and made a square basket.

Speaking of laundry, why is it when we are required to buy two separate machines, one to wash and one to dry, that you load dirty laundry in the top and load wet laundry in the side? I'm assuming I'm not the only one that has dropped clean, wet laundry on the floor trying to do a quick hook shot into the dryer. Where are all the top loading dryers??? As if that wasn't bad enough, the designer decided to put the lint trap right there in the dryer door, just big enough to throw a wet sock into. I don't know how many times I've pulled a sock out of a lint trap that looked like Elmo from Sesame Street. Oh well, someday when I rule the world...

It's Getting Old Outside

2008-11-12T20:58:00.000-06:00

There was this old man using a stepping machines in the physical therapy office I was working in today. When he finished his time on the machine another old man walked over to him and asked how he was enjoying the workout he was required to do. The old man that walked over to him started to tell him how he shouldn't work too hard. He said that he had had a friend that did the same thing, but after he had gotten off the machine, he sat down and died right there. The first old man jokingly said, “That wouldn't be that bad!” and other old man responded by saying “You mean calling it quits?” The first old man had nothing to say as he took a drink and got back on the machine.

Later that day, I went over to an apartment to help a gentleman with a computer problem. This man was quite old, wheelchair bound and a previous customer of mine. While fixing his many PC issues, he launched into a conversation about how the image of a airplane he had on his desktop was just like the one he had flown in WWII; the same story he had told me from the previous service call. Realizing he didn't remember me, I humored him and took part in the conversation like I hadn't heard it before. This time however, he began to tell me how he was slowly going down hill. He couldn't walk because he had a problem with his right knee, which he had had three surgeries to try and fix it, but it still ached a lot. He said he had trouble breathing and he has had to have a urinary catheter put in. I told him that I would be getting old someday too, but I think there was no comfort in that statement.I will get old someday. My body is almost done growing and will soon start the downward spiral toward my last breath. It's easy for me to get caught up in living and forget that I will come to the same spot as these older men. Is there a point were calling it quits seems like a good option? When does the weight of this world or the curse of growing old turn out to be more than we bargained for? You'd think we could do enough good for the world or make a strong enough impact to avoid such a punishment, but that is just not the case. You have to wonder if where we are going after we die is worth the pain and isolation of old age. For me it is, but it doesn't make the idea of getting old any easier to accept.

After listening to these men, I've decided to live where I'm at. I've spent far too long fearing old age and the problems that go with it. I like to think about the older people I've met that have those amazing attitudes that I wish I had. The type of old people that act younger than I do. I want to be that way! Old age be damned, I'm going to live! Far too often I've seen an elderly couple sitting in a restaurant never saying a word to each other, as if they have finally said everything. I will strive to never be that way! I know that there is a plan for my life and it has only just begun to unfold itself and I won't let “calling it quits” become the best option.

Let me end by saying, that my attitude toward growing older has changed, but my respect and understanding for the elderly has not. I understand that it is not always easy and sometimes people have no control over how they age and for that, I sympathize. Just as I will grow old and want to continue my life the way I want to, we need to be compassionate and forgiving to the elderly, so they to can feel life is worth living.

First Player

2008-11-04T09:25:00.000-06:00

When I was little, I remember getting my Nintendo video game system. I remember it so much, I can recall how the box smelt when we opened it. Thanks to my dads, now regrettable choice to buy me one for Christmas, I've become quite the video game fan boy. Aside from the few games I can remember having a lot of fun playing, I unfortunately remember another part of my video gaming experience a lot more. I remember 1^st player. The amazing power of the first controller. It had to be mine and I would do anything to get it. Why you ask? Well its obvious! First player got to be Mario in Mario Bros. First player got to pick the game settings and enter the game itself, before anyone else could. First player, was in control.

Overall, there really wasn't that much of a difference between first and second player when it came to the gaming experience. Where the difference came from, was the ability to know that I ultimately had the control of how these games would be played. I visited a church meeting/service of a group of people who wanted to start a church. The overall feeling I got while listening to them talk, was as if they were fighting for first player. It sounded as if they knew how church should be done (which is not how all the other churches in the area are doing it of course) and they were going to show the town how to do it the right way. The more I watch people go through the motions of “living life like it was intended to be lived” I find it to be more like “living life for control of how life should be”

It says a lot about a small child that refuses to play a game when he can't be first player and it says a lot about an adult who hates the church because he couldn't have the control he desired. I've heard so many stories about the people who turned away from a good thing, because they couldn't express themselves like they believed they should. It's not the leaving that is so wrong, by all means, if you don't fit in or feel God calling you to your current position, then go find where he is. The problem is in the “up in arms”, “fight for the right” attitude that comes from being told no. Why cant we have grace in the differences we don't understand, rather than having to prove that the way we think it should be done, is the best way? It is simply amazing how many people aren't happy if they can't have first player and the utmost control over certain things.

The problem with leaving something with the “I'll show you” attitude, is that no matter what you do, it will never be built with God in the place he needs to be. That wounded attitude will only attract other people who feel wounded and will ultimately turn your mission into showing the world why you were right. Think about it next time you refuse to play along when you don't get first player. Think about how little your control and influence on situations matter to God and the people your putting them through. More people need to realize God already has first player and most of these selfish thoughts wouldn't happen in the first place.

OMG These Are Awesome!!! Literally...

2008-10-22T20:49:00.001-05:00

Take On Me Literally

Take on Me: Literal Video Version - watch more funny videos

Head Over Heels Literally

Head Over Heels: Literal Video Version - watch more funny videos

The Possible Future

2008-10-10T18:56:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about where my life is going lately. Where am I going to be in a month from now is kind of frighting. I have so much right here and right now, just the way I like it, even though it's not perfect and has just as many problems as benefits. I have a hard time excepting the possible future as a real possibility.

As I had mentioned in a previous blog, I just got back from a trip to Orange City. I had my map to where I was suppose to go and it was pretty straight forward. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a detour. What luck, I mean, I was on the last straight stretch before I would drive straight into Orange City, only to be taken miles out of my way. After almost having to guess what turns to make in order to get back on the right highway, I made what looked like the final turn onto the highway I needed to be on.

As I drove, my confidence began to wain and I got more and more scared that I had taken the wrong turn somewhere. I began earnestly looking for road signs that would let me know that I was on track. Just like that my Dad called. He got on Google and, with what information I had, found where I was on the map. He assured me that I was going the right way and to just keep going; the town should be coming up. Finally there was a sign.

Gods plan for us is not a road map. Gods plan is merely road signs. He never tells exactly where we are going or exactly how to get there; he only gives us road signs. Get use to it! We will never have it all figured out! We have to wait on his guidance and his directions from point to point and there will be many times where you don't see a sign for what seems like forever. Why do we always jump the gun and yearn for a clear cut route through the chaos? What difference does it make in the long run when your gonna keep going anyway. When I felt I was lost, I didn't pull over and wait for the way to be shown to me. I didn't turn around and try another direction. I kept going. I kept looking for the signs to point the way. The longer a person moves without knowing which way they are going, the harder it is to believe they are following the right path. It happens to all of us.

We lose sight of what was suppose to be great due to lack of signs. Hold on! It's coming! The greatness that we see in Gods plan, he sees through us. Take a look at where you've been and realize there were moments then where all seemed lost, but you're here today. It's not only by the grace of God sometimes, but all the times. When we need it most, God calls us and assures us we are doing it right and if he hasn't done that yet, then call on him yourself.

The gaps that seem the most void of Jesus, are the times when Jesus is there the most. We must only stop searching for the map and start looking for the signs.

I Freakin' Love This...

2008-10-03T21:18:00.001-05:00

Are You Real?

2008-10-01T11:24:00.000-05:00

This last weekend, I took a drive to Orange City to visit my girlfriend, that I hadn't seen in a little over a month. The drive was long and boring, but a little easier because my brother went along. I told her I was going to call her when I was almost there, but I opted for the surprise entrance. I walked up the stairs to her dorm, with my brother right behind me. As I walked through the door and saw her sitting there, she turned and saw me at the same time. She smiled and ran at me with open arms throwing herself around me like we had been away from each other for years.

As I kissed her and looked into her eyes, it all felt so unreal; like looking through a peep hole in a door. I could feel her and see her, but it all felt like I was still in that moment between waking and sleeping. It took me awhile to realize I was actually there, with her, for real. I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

It was an amazing weekend and I loved every minute of it. It was as if we had started dating for the first time, all over again. However, by the time I got back home into my room and started unpacking all my dirty laundry, I started to wonder if I had ever been there at all. Now as the days slip by and I have almost two months to wait until I see her again, I have to hold on to what I had.

It's hard to believe that this is the rotation our hearts go through with God. When you experience a moment that has come together so perfectly that it's hard to believe it's real or a trouble roadblock that seems impassable is broken down; God is there. These situations happen and are simply amazing, but they slip into the past stepping farther away from being real, day by day. Too many times I look at God and feel like I'm not there; like it's too good to be true, as God and I share success, a time of encouragement, despair or joy. I walk away from those moment only to feel like I was never a part of that. Every day it pushes that experience farther away from my mind until I'm unsure it even happened. Then out of nowhere I experience God again, but unreal due to the time spent apart.

Angela and I have beaten the "out of nowhere experience" because we see and talk to each other everyday over the Internet. Even though we still have unreal feelings that come from being apart for so long, our connectedness and consistent communication, help us push through those empty times when we are so far away. This is why so many people fail to experience God. They simply lack "connectedness and consistent communication". We can't be so quick to give up when distance separates us from people or God. I know I wouldn't give up on Angela, so why should God be any different.

So Sacred This Piece

2008-09-22T20:20:00.001-05:00

Echoes through and through,
the steps into time still dry,
as the eye of a man without guilt
wandering the streets to die.
With the thoughts of whose saving
me and you once again
from the pain and the sorrows
and the endless sin.
Jumping through hoops ,
time after time,
not seeing the end,
to life's pointless rhyme.
The cares to us be,
so important it seems,
that what we see as needed,
is not what time deems.
For we trudge through the shadows,
that we make for ourselves,
picking up our dream pieces,
and putting onto shelves.
There they stay to collect,
like unwanted dust,
because we give them to no one,
no one can we trust.
You see, we don't know,
that the hardest part.
is not getting what we want
But is the giving of our heart.
So sacred this piece,
that is kept in our chest.
Locked away so strong,
away from the rest,
of the people we see,
and meet on the street,
lost and locked up tight,
with their hearts bruised and beat.
If we cant pull open,
our chest that contains,
the beat of our dream,
or what barely remains,
and give to the one,
that can make it all true;
we'll never get away.
We'll never pull through.
For it is not on our own
that our futures not grim.
But to sacrifice our wants,
To take off and follow him
Keeper of my dreams.
Lover of my heart.
I'll give you my life,

just show me where to start...

Checkpoint

2008-09-14T15:05:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking lately of the stagnant place in my life that I'm in right now. Not a bad stagnant as in mentally or physically, but in the bigger picture of human lives and the points in life that seem to matter the most.

What I am trying to get at is, that depending on your age, there is usually a point in time we look forward to; such as becoming a teenager or being able to drive. So here is the list of big moments to shoot for.

Age
1-10--Every birthday is an important one
13----You're finally a teenager
14----You get your drivers permit - Enter high school give or take a year - Get a Job
16----Full fledged license - Get a Passport - Join the Millitary
17----R-Rated Movies - Apply for a Pilots license - Buy Firearms
18----Vote - Buy Tobacco - Buy Fireworks - Apply for a Credit Card - Tattoos - Jury Duty - Marriage without consent - Enter Gentleman Clubs - Leave Home without consent
21----Buy and Drink Alcohol - Adopt a child - Play the Lottery

Some of the things listed are dependent upon the state which you live

So as it appears, 21 is the final checkpoint before not much else happens. There aren't really anythings that separate one age to the next. Things start to meld together and not offer any reason to want to age past 21. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing like finally gaining the ability to do something that you couldn't otherwise do at an earlier age. I still remember hitting 21 and going to the local gas station to buy Smirnoff the very night I hit that 21 year old checkpoint. I proudly pulled the alcohol from the cooler and put it and my I.D. on the counter. I had no deep desire to drink, in fact, it was the middle of the week and I had work the next day, so I wasn't about to get drunk.

The point is, I didn't do it because I needed to or had to, but because I could. The divider that was preventing me from being able to do something, was seen as a moment to conquer. A chance to do something simply because there was no one that could stop me anymore. It felt like right of passage. In the bigger scheme of things, a life with Christ can feel the same way.

When starting off on our spiritual journey, it is nothing but checkpoints. One after another learning about different aspects of the Bible and then applying them to our lives. Growing and gaining understanding of new principles and seeing them work in our lives or with other people. From there we learn that we need to tell others about it and help people start their own journeys. Then, just like hitting 21, there stops being any purpose to doing what we have been doing. The checkpoints disappear under the guise of something we've conquered and now what is there?

When is the last time you really felt special driving your car or buying a beer?? Well why would you?? Where is the joy in the simplistic act of doing, just because you can?? We can't forget that checkpoints are not about the completing, just for the sake of moving on to the next one; Rather a point in history to look back and remember how they made you feel and what they accomplished. Get in your car and grip the wheel as if this is your first drive on your own. Buy a lottery ticket just because you have a couple extra bucks in your pocket and remember the thrill of the chance. Read a verse in your Bible like you never have before and apply to your life with the child like faith you once had. Tell your coworker about Christ in your life and who Christ would be in his or hers just so you could experience the great joy there is in giving someone a life worth living.

Just like you use to, just because you could.

Turning Point

2008-09-04T21:44:00.000-05:00

Everyone has one thing in common and that, is purpose. Most of everything that we do in our lives comes from a purpose or a drive deep within us and I guess you could say, finding my life’s purpose turned me around. My story is not a heroic turn from evil, it's not a story of demise turned to glory, but a chapter devoted to what my turning point did to my life and its decisions.

It wasn’t long ago, that the thought of a greater power was in my thoughts at every ‘choice’ intersection. With a common feeling of powerlessness, I looked up for answers and comfort through life’s struggles. I was hoping for a feeling from above that would allow me to take some control over my life; by giving it to someone that could handle it. A God of such reputation and supremacy, that I previously knew from others and from stories out of a leather bound book, was the only response I got, which, to be honest, didn't help me at all. Soon, I was letting go more and more to the pressure from above to turn it over to him. In each instance, I hung on as long as I could. So, with a sort of inward embarrassment, I surrendered total control in hopes he would deal with it better than I did. Although; It wasn't always so clean cut.

Not every situation led to perfect results, in fact, more often than not, they didn’t go the way I wanted them to at all; that’s just the way the world seems to work. As if to make those problems worse, questions arose. If anything can beat down a persons beliefs, it's questions. Faith would come and go with each new situation or question derived from it. Even though questions came up, the conclusion was always knowing that although it wasn’t a perfect solution, it helped me deal with my less than ideal finish. With this knowledge from every experience, I gained a pure awareness of how my world can be better, through “understanding and acceptance”. Acceptance seems like dodging the bullet when it comes to the tough questions, but I'm not saying to avoid questions; Rather, accept the fact that they will arise through struggles and will be answered in time. Far too often, people drop faith the instant a hard question shows up. Why can't we be OK with not knowing everything?? I realize now, that if I so choose to hand things over to the one that knows me better than myself, those questions will be answered. Some will take longer than others, but never the less, they will be answered.

I believe now, through all of my experiences, that there is someone factual and beyond doubt, existing more than most care to acknowledge. I can confidently press forward with the greatest turning point in my existence, to make the rest of my reality, just that; real. No problem, choice, decision, or struggle has to be any worse than I wish to let it. When all else fails, don’t forget to stop and look up, for the world you live in isn’t restricted to what you see in front of you.

Some people just don't get it...

2008-08-25T16:49:00.003-05:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Punching Old Ladies

2008-08-13T11:10:00.000-05:00

Over my lifetime, I've experienced an emotion that is hard to describe. Not too often, but every now and again, something happens to someone else that makes me feel like I just punched an old lady. It seems to happen most often, when something happens to someone, that I don't feel deserves it.

Some time ago, when I use to live in Decorah, my dad embarked on a epic journey that would change both my brothers and my view, of manual labor. My dad, not being one for doing anything on a small scale, decided to build a pond in our backyard. The pond was large enough to swim in and perfect for keeping Koi fish. Koi are beautiful Japanese fish, that were simply awesome to have around as pets, not just fish. To this day, I regret not taking more joy in the project, because now, it's gone and I don't think I truly knew how much it meant to my dad. We had somewhere around 30 Koi in this pond and the pond was deep enough to keep them in even during the Winter as long as there was a hole in the ice to feed them through. My dad took a plastic tub, put a light bulb through the base of it and then turned the tub upside down over the ice to keep it from freezing over completely. It worked great until one morning we had discovered the bulb off. The Koi had died due to electrocution. Somehow the water had swelled up into the tub and come in contact with the bulb. It was a grim day to say the least. I'll never forget that day, as I watched my dad reach into the water and pull out the dead Koi one by one. I couldn't help, but feel horrible. I felt mad that this happened and to someone that had done nothing to deserve this. Such a pointless consequence to beg the questions; "Why? Why? Why?"

There was so little point to this, that I reached for reasons to blame. Maybe it was my fault or my brothers. Maybe it was my dads fault, but even if it was, did it really merit such a crash to all that he had built? Where was God in this and if he was involved, Why couldn't he have prevented such a meaningless happening.

I have this feeling when someone goes through all the work of filling up there tray at lunch to trip and lose it all, on the way to the table. I experience it when the quiet bookworm kid comes to school with a black eye and a fat lip. I feel it when an old person gets hurt, as if getting old didn't hurt enough. I don't like this feeling of watching others hurt for no apparent reason, but I think there in lies the answer. There is no apparent reason, but who knows what is going on in there world.

There are, in most accounts, 2 reasons for a situation like this to happen. The first reason is known only to the individual going through it. The circumstance may be just the jolt they need for one reason or another. It may be what gets them on to the right path or back on the one they strayed from. More importantly is the other reason for such an emotional encounter. It's not for them, it's for me. I'm given the opportunity to alter life by their situation. I help them clean up there tray, I offer my hand in friendship to the person that's not very popular, I visit the elderly in there time of pain or I express my mutual feeling of sadness at the end to an amazing project together.

I think I've come to realize, that the feeling of punching old ladies, only comes when I go no further then my emotions. I now know, I have to offer myself in a persons time of need, whether I can do it perfectly or not, to give a purpose to what seems like senseless consequences.

Here's a laugh!

2008-08-12T09:52:00.002-05:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net">

Sundrops

2008-06-23T21:57:00.000-05:00

“Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But life looks different through everyone's eyes.” -Unknown

A couple of days ago, I stepped out of my vehicle and into the rain. I stood, caught in a moment so amazing, I wasn't concerned with getting wet. The sun was out and the rain was coming down heavy with the glint of the sun in every drop. The wet pavement shimmered with a gold orb, but yet the rain fell. The sun was so striking reflected through the rain, that the normal idea of rain and gloom being partners was shattered. For a moment everything was surreal and the rain seemed so poignant, as if I had never seen rain before.

Someone died this week. I'm sure lots of people died this week, but what did it look like to them. Crying for a reason or maybe an answer, they missed the point. Mourning for someone having left this earth has a sort of selfishness in it that we don't notice. For only a moment death caught me as something to be hated, feared, or avoided. It looked like something demanding a purpose or a reason that no one could explain, but after seeing the death of a person, who I knew had finally made it home to somewhere perfect, my outlook on death changed. Still, death is all too common and never appreciated for what it really is.

When we get so use to the rain that darkness sometimes brings, we simply say it's raining and move inside to avoid it. Death is like this at times. Stunning, brilliant, awe inspiring, yet death all the same, so we choose to write it off. Rain isn't as noticeable when we are in the middle of it, running for home because we are far too concerned with heading it off. It's not seen as water and what it is here to do, but rather a hindrance we've learned to accept as part of the storm.

When that sun comes out, unexpected and perfectly timed, throwing itself through ever drop, changing our view from simple rain, to diamonds being scattered on the earth, the perspective changes. When death is accepted as a victory over life, a triumph with God, our deaths resemble sun through the rain. Sure it's still death, but oh so beautiful! We took the stage for our final bow and left with the crowd applauding! We danced unashamed and took the plunge like no one has before! When the joy in your own finish surpasses that of death as being an end, you see it as a beginning. You can choose to see death as showers, nothing more than another chapter in the storm just like everyone else, but if you know God, he will be the light that pierces your raindrops. Those that know that, will see it as well, and will be happy, for they too will see the sun through the rain.

Evenings with ALF

2008-06-14T21:56:00.000-05:00

"I know my rights, I watch People's Court." - ALF

I've been spending the majority of my nights falling to sleep watching ALF. The show has a sort of simplicity that you don't see in TV anymore. It also has a genuine humor to it that leaves racism, sexual innuendos and politics by the way side. If you're not familiar with the show at all, it's about an alien that crash landed on earth and is being protected by a family until he can be rescued. I watched the show for this long to only notice now, that ALF is Jesus. Not literally, but metaphorically.

Show after show, the family does everything in their power, to keep ALF hidden from the outside world. I do that more than I care to admit. All too often I find myself rushing Jesus into the kitchen or closet when people come over. After I know he's out of sight, I quickly turn around with a expression that says everything is OK. ALF was rushed into the kitchen every time someone came over and then the Tanners would smile and greet the company like the normal family they should be. What are we so afraid of? Hurting someones feelings? Being rejected perhaps? Maybe it's as simple as being afraid of confrontation and not knowing how to bring it up. I don't know about you, but I know I wasn't put on this earth to make sure Jesus is comfortable in front of the TV and has plenty to eat. I was made to be a servant for Christ, for others .

So, Should we be a smiling face to show all is well, normal and hope no one asks any tough questions like the Tanners do? Or should we open the doors and let in who chooses to venture our way? We need to stop hiding Jesus from the world, like he is some alien that no one will understand. Everyday we have the choice to step out in faith and let Gods light be shown or hide it behind the nearest door. We have to be less afraid of what we think people will think and start acting on what we believe. There is a lot to get from Jesus for ourselves, but what of Jesus do we give to others.

Catch

2008-06-04T20:13:00.000-05:00

I was recently watching family videos of me when I was younger. I found a video of my dad, brother and I playing catch. I remember being scared of my dad throwing the ball at me. It wasn't that he threw too hard, because he didn't, it was that I knew he could. I had watched my dad throw the ball around at ball games with older people and new he had an arm. I watched myself lay my glove open, as he lobed it into the air gently. I would put the glove out in front of me as far as I could, to avoid all chances of getting hit. I remember that fear quite well.

As I grew older, my father threw harder. It was either catch it or get out of the way. I loved playing catch with my dad, but sometimes the fear got the best of me. My dad was very good at putting the ball right where I could catch it and only throwing it as hard as he knew I would be able to handle. I remember probably one of the last times I played catch with him. He was putting everything he had behind it. When I would catch wrong, it would hit the palm of my hand flat and it hurt with a sting that lasted well past the initial impact. Even though he was throwing it harder, I was staying in front of the ball. I was catching it and throwing it back with as much intensity as I had. I began to enjoy the sting and the pain because I was lost in the experience. The fear wasn't there and he knew I could take his hardest throws.

He always new how much I could take. From tossing it up in there air, to hurling it at me with a speed the Road Runner would be jealous of. I realize now that him playing catch with me wasn't about teaching me to be able to handle more, but teaching me how to deal with what was being thrown at me at the time. He knew what I could handle and it showed in how he threw it at me. Life is the same way with God. He knows what we can handle and adjusts his pitches accordingly.

There is two ways to fight through struggles that seem overwhelming.

#1 Without God
This puts the weight on you and you alone. Fear is more overwhelming knowing that you can only do what you believe you can do. There are no miracles, no saving graces and nothing to gaing, but the chance to do it all over again when you fall. Whether it ends good or bad, you are solely to blame and ultimately are all alone.

#2 With God
If you know that God doesn't put you through any endeavor that you can't handle you will feel ok. Reguardless of the situation, you will come out victorious. you know that God will provide and thus, nothing seems out of reach or improbable. There is a sense of security and wellbeing that can be gained from finding joy in a failure, knowing they can't get the best of you.

All in all I learned a valuable lesson from playing catch from my father. He didn't teach me to fear or hate the ball, but to understand it. In life and all its failings, I've learned no matter what comes my way, always stay in front of the ball, because when God is with me, there is no safer place to be.

Birthday

2008-04-26T11:42:00.000-05:00

I had quite the birthday this week. I wasn't really telling people, mainly because I just didn't care to. I mean, after you hit 21 there really isn't much to look forward to except another year. However, my girlfriend pulled out all the stops. I kind of figured she would, but not as much as she did.

She came to see me at work and brought a cake with my picture on it; she looked so happy. After work was over, I headed to youth group and she met me with a dozen blue balloons smiling the whole time. When youth group was over, she met me at my house where she gave me my gifts. She bought me two DVDs and a picture of us, as well as chocolate.

She really made me feel important. Not only now, with all the stuff, but even before. She makes me real some days. Sometimes the look in her eyes is the time of day when I come flying back to reality. I go to work, I go to band practice, I run the youth group, it all meshes together sometimes and she seems to be the one thing that always keeps me grounded. She means more to me than she knows and she is a piece of my golden ticket that I can call my own.

Something is You

2008-04-16T00:23:00.001-05:00

Cant take
The time to be
Who you see
Inside of me.
Love me strong
I can't stay long.
To busy to be
Who you see in me.

Something to hear.
Something to see.
Something is you
Right beside of me.

Time is lost.
When you're around.
Your voice a whisper.
Love that sound
Inside my thoughts.
Begins to pound.
You leap into
You go right through.

Something to do.
Something is said.
Somewhere to run
With only you.

I'll take time
To find you true.
Loving steps
Along with you.
Tears will fall
Drops like flame
Embracing me
I call your name.

Something,
Something,
I know is you.

The Jump

2008-04-10T16:17:00.000-05:00

It turns out, now is the time to let it spill. My Golden ticket, there's a story behind that title that was written on a different blog awhile back (I may re-post it). For now, however, my Golden Ticket is everything I'm shooting to be. The very core of what I want to become in this world, lies in wait, just like the elusive Golden Ticket from the story/movie. Self discovery, self acceptance, learning and cursing, all to appear soon.

I've decided to change and to become me, the one thing I've been hiding so long. I have to change physically and mentally. To change from an overweight depression, to someone lighter in both manners. It's already started though, I took the jump 4 days ago.

I can't wait to see what bad things happen and what good. I can't wait to hurt with change and take joy in my struggles. It's not going to be easy, but I'm looking forward to the chance to succeed or fail and then do it all over again.

Catch ya on the flip side.