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The Possible Future


I've been thinking a lot about where my life is going lately. Where am I going to be in a month from now is kind of frighting. I have so much right here and right now, just the way I like it, even though it's not perfect and has just as many problems as benefits. I have a hard time excepting the possible future as a real possibility.

As I had mentioned in a previous blog, I just got back from a trip to Orange City. I had my map to where I was suppose to go and it was pretty straight forward. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a detour. What luck, I mean, I was on the last straight stretch before I would drive straight into Orange City, only to be taken miles out of my way. After almost having to guess what turns to make in order to get back on the right highway, I made what looked like the final turn onto the highway I needed to be on.

As I drove, my confidence began to wain and I got more and more scared that I had taken the wrong turn somewhere. I began earnestly looking for road signs that would let me know that I was on track. Just like that my Dad called. He got on Google and, with what information I had, found where I was on the map. He assured me that I was going the right way and to just keep going; the town should be coming up. Finally there was a sign.

Gods plan for us is not a road map. Gods plan is merely road signs. He never tells exactly where we are going or exactly how to get there; he only gives us road signs. Get use to it! We will never have it all figured out! We have to wait on his guidance and his directions from point to point and there will be many times where you don't see a sign for what seems like forever. Why do we always jump the gun and yearn for a clear cut route through the chaos? What difference does it make in the long run when your gonna keep going anyway. When I felt I was lost, I didn't pull over and wait for the way to be shown to me. I didn't turn around and try another direction. I kept going. I kept looking for the signs to point the way. The longer a person moves without knowing which way they are going, the harder it is to believe they are following the right path. It happens to all of us.

We lose sight of what was suppose to be great due to lack of signs. Hold on! It's coming! The greatness that we see in Gods plan, he sees through us. Take a look at where you've been and realize there were moments then where all seemed lost, but you're here today. It's not only by the grace of God sometimes, but all the times. When we need it most, God calls us and assures us we are doing it right and if he hasn't done that yet, then call on him yourself.

The gaps that seem the most void of Jesus, are the times when Jesus is there the most. We must only stop searching for the map and start looking for the signs.

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I Freakin' Love This...

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Are You Real?

This last weekend, I took a drive to Orange City to visit my girlfriend, that I hadn't seen in a little over a month. The drive was long and boring, but a little easier because my brother went along. I told her I was going to call her when I was almost there, but I opted for the surprise entrance. I walked up the stairs to her dorm, with my brother right behind me. As I walked through the door and saw her sitting there, she turned and saw me at the same time. She smiled and ran at me with open arms throwing herself around me like we had been away from each other for years.

As I kissed her and looked into her eyes, it all felt so unreal; like looking through a peep hole in a door. I could feel her and see her, but it all felt like I was still in that moment between waking and sleeping. It took me awhile to realize I was actually there, with her, for real. I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

It was an amazing weekend and I loved every minute of it. It was as if we had started dating for the first time, all over again. However, by the time I got back home into my room and started unpacking all my dirty laundry, I started to wonder if I had ever been there at all. Now as the days slip by and I have almost two months to wait until I see her again, I have to hold on to what I had.

It's hard to believe that this is the rotation our hearts go through with God. When you experience a moment that has come together so perfectly that it's hard to believe it's real or a trouble roadblock that seems impassable is broken down; God is there. These situations happen and are simply amazing, but they slip into the past stepping farther away from being real, day by day. Too many times I look at God and feel like I'm not there; like it's too good to be true, as God and I share success, a time of encouragement, despair or joy. I walk away from those moment only to feel like I was never a part of that. Every day it pushes that experience farther away from my mind until I'm unsure it even happened. Then out of nowhere I experience God again, but unreal due to the time spent apart.

Angela and I have beaten the "out of nowhere experience" because we see and talk to each other everyday over the Internet. Even though we still have unreal feelings that come from being apart for so long, our connectedness and consistent communication, help us push through those empty times when we are so far away. This is why so many people fail to experience God. They simply lack "connectedness and consistent communication". We can't be so quick to give up when distance separates us from people or God. I know I wouldn't give up on Angela, so why should God be any different.

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